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TEACHER TALK QUICK TIPS

Teacher Talk Tip #520:
Are you teaching your students that power is loud, full of force and often intimidating? Or are you sending the message that power is quiet, soft, and connecting? Pay attention to your intention.

Teacher Talk Tip #519:
Your students have become part of your life, in part, so you can learn from them. Your role is not always to guide but, at times, to be led.

Teacher Talk Tip #518:
Are you helping your students count their wins or loses?

Teacher Talk Tip #517:
"The hardest part of anything is starting it. What could you do first?"

Teacher Talk Tip # 516:
When you say, "I don't want to do this. It doesn't feel right to me," You model trusting your inner authority for your students.

Teacher Talk Tip #515:
"OK, who is to blame?" Delete the words fault and blame from your Teacher Talk. Blame is a waste of time. Fix the problem, not the blame.

Teacher Talk Tip #514:
You add power to a parenting problem every time you re-state it by repeating it to someone else. Focus on solutions, not the problem.

Teacher Talk Tip #513:
"There is no way you can start that project last week, today. Nor can you start it tomorrow, today. You can only start it today, today. It's your choice."

Teacher Talk Tip #512:
"It sounds like you are confused. This could be time to get quiet." Teaches children that answers come sneaking through the stillness at times.

Teacher Talk Tip #511:
Often we look at our child and we see THEIR lesson. What if today we looked at our child and saw OUR lesson?

Teacher Talk Tip #510:
"Doing shows knowing. Please show me that you know
.

Teacher Talk Tip #509:
"Sure that's a big dream. Here's what I have learned. 'There is no such thing as too big a dream.' Take a full cut."

Teacher Talk Tip #508:
"I wonder if there is another way we could look at this?" teaches that perception is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #507:
"The tummy knows. Listen to it. What is your tummy telling you?"

Teacher Talk Tip #506:
"It's ok to be afraid."

Teacher Talk Tip # 505:
"You don't have to bite the hook."

Teacher Talk Tip #504:
The two most important debriefing questions you can ask your students: "What worked?" "What needs to be changed?"

Teacher Talk Tip #503:
How do you prefer students to talk to you? That's the way to talk to them.

Teacher Talk Tip #502:
Speak slower rather than louder.

Teacher Talk Tip #501:
"Let's consider it a lesson and move on," helps students learn not to beat themselves up over a mistake. Say it, and then do it.

Teacher Talk Tip #500:
You can focus on what your student did right or focus on what your student did wrong. OK, all together now...."DUH." Some reminders are important re-mind-ers.

Teacher Talk Tip #499:
"Will this unite us or divide us as a class? What could you choose that would build connection and solidarity?

Teacher Talk Tip #498:
Are you helping your student see how powerful you are or how powerful she is?

Teacher Talk Tip #497: 
You can work to fight what you don't like or use your energy to create what you prefer. Your choice. What do you think?"

Teacher Talk Tip #496: 
"We can't change what happened. So let's talk about how we can use it to prepare for situations that are yet to come. Got any ideas?"

Teacher Talk Tip #495:
"You helped me think of that in a new way. Thank you."

Teacher Talk Tip #494:
"So your grade went down in History. It might be helpful to see "Slipping Back" as a part of the process of reaching your goal. What do you think?"

Teacher Talk Tip #493:
Students have a right to protest. Do not confuse that with whining, being negative or obnoxious behavior. Your job is to teach them to protest effectively.

Teacher Talk Tip #492:
If it's not a safety issue, replace "That's a poor choice," with "Let's see how that works for you."

Teacher Talk Tip #491:
That spilled paint is quickly fixed. Your spilled language can last much longer. Use language that focuses on the paint, not on the student. "Oh, paint is getting all over the floor. We need some towels and some helpers."

Teacher Talk Tip #490:
"This is a new day, a new time, and a you get to make a new choice," are useful words to tell your students or yourself.

Teacher Talk Tip #489:
"If you can't change the situation, perhaps you could change how you think about it. Maybe that would help."

Teacher Talk Tip #488:
To empower your students, sometimes it's really important to say, "_____________." Nothing.

Teacher Talk Tip #487:
When your message is loud, students focus on your anger. Speak softly to have them focus on your words.

Teacher Talk Tip #486:
"Which attitude are you going to take with you to the lunchroom today? Remember that's a choice you get to make."

Teacher Talk Tip #485:
Replace, "Andy, move away from your Samantha," with "Andy, see if you can find a spot that respects both your space and your Samantha's space." Let the student do the thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #484:
"I'm sort of angry." What's up with sort of? You are either angry or you aren't. Decide and say what you mean without sort of.

Teacher Talk Tip #483:
"No, you didn't choose for that to happen. You can choose, though, what it means for you and how you choose to see it. That is where your power lies."

Teacher Talk Tip #482:
After you thank your student tell them how it affected your life. "Thank you for carrying in the boxes from my car. You helped me rest my sore back."

Teacher Talk Tip #481:
"You're going to tip that paint over if you're not careful," and similar warnings plant doubt in the student's mind and decrease her confidence.

Teacher Talk Tip #480:
"Well, just this once," is not helpful Teacher Talk. It solves the situation now and insures you will be dealing with it again later from a weakened position.

Teacher Talk Tip #479:
"Let me do it," out of convenience, strong control needs or your desire for perfection invites students to feel inferior.

Teacher Talk Tip #478: 
Use the question, "What DO you want?" when students tell you what they don't want. It helps them get clear about what they do want.so they can begin to take steps to get there.

Teacher Talk Tip #477: 
The most important part of what just happened in your teaching day is how you choose to BE in response to what just happened. Make that a conscious choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #476: 
When teacher your voice is loud, students focus on your anger. Speak softly to have them focus on your words.

Teacher Talk Tip #475:
Use "If it weren't for you..." ONLY in positive situations. "If it weren't for you we wouldn't have the PowerPoint all set up and ready to go."

Teacher Talk Tip #474: 
You can choose to focus on your students' mistakes or on their growth and learning. You are the one who controls your focus.

Teacher Talk Tip #473:
Treat the "what is" of an educational challenge as if "what is" is being offered to you as a gift.

Teacher Talk Tip #472: 
Depriving students of the right to make messes decreases their range of experience and limits their learning opportunities.

Teacher Talk Tip #471: 
Never force a student to do something they fear. Begin slowly and move in small steps from outside their comfort zone to self-assurance.

Teacher Talk Tip #470:
Eliminating conflict in your classroom is not a realistic goal. Holding conflict in a loving manner is. Appreciating conflict and respecting differing opinions is. Accepting conflict is.

Teacher Talk Tip #469:
"I am being distracted by the noise in the back of the room," allows the student to choose the response. "Quiet down," commands and renders them powerless.

Teacher Talk Tip #468: 
"Why do you think that?" "How are you going to handle that?" "What do you think you will do next time?" These types of questions allow the student to do the thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #467:
If the word "impossible" is part of your vocabulary you are erecting walls to surround and confine your students. Limiting beliefs are being created and nourished. Stop it.

Teacher Talk Tip #466:
An immediate response to negative energy/behavior/attitude/feelings is not necessary. Take a step back. Breathe.

Teacher Talk Tip #465:
"I'm sort of angry." What's up with sort of? You are either angry or you aren't. Decide and say what you mean without sort of.

Teacher Talk Tip #464:
Are you a teacher fixer? Be aware that the more you fix the more that will show up to fix. Why not fix your need to fix and see what happens?

Teacher Talk Tip #463:
Being willing to improve your Teacher Talk does not improve your language patterns. To change it is necessary to do something different. Identify the one thing you can do to improve your Teacher Talk and most importantly, do it.

Teacher Talk Tip #462:
Power comes from the Latin word "potere," which means "to be able." Empower your students with the "able" words. Help them see themselves as able, capable, valuable and response-able.

Teacher Talk Tip #461:
Your student chooses the behavior. You choose how to interpret that behavior. You alone are responsible for the meaning you attach to it. Refuse to believe the myth that your students choose both the behavior and the interpretation you give it.

Teacher Talk Tip #460:
If you dismiss or ignore your student's passion, you are dismissing or ignoring them. Their passion is part of who they really are.

Teacher Talk Tip #459:
Want to be a truly powerful educator? Think "power with" rather than "power over."

Teacher Talk Tip #458:
Sometimes the best words are no words.

Teacher Talk Tip #457:
"What did you get and what did you give up because of the choice you made?" Helps students see that choices have prices and outcomes.

Teacher Talk Tip #456:
So you had a negative thought about one of your students. Stop feeding it and it will go away.

Teacher Talk Tip #455: 
A student can push your buttons all day long. Nothing will happen until you choose a response. YOU , not your student, control your buttons.

Teacher Talk Tip #454:
Evening reflection: Did I give the disconnected student attention today? Did I communicate appreciation? Was I affectionate with word and deed? Adjust where necessary.

Teacher Talk Tip #453: 
You can choose to focus on your students' mistakes or on their growth and learning. You are the one who controls your focus.

Teacher Talk Tip #452:
You resist reality when you think your student should be further along with math, reading, speaking, etc. They are where they are. It's healthier to think they are exactly where they are meant to be and heading in an appropriate direction.

Teacher Talk Tip #451: 
"What did you get and what did you give up because of the choice you made?" Helps students see choices have prices and outcomes.

Teacher Talk Tip #450:
Change the YOU in your language patterns to "I." "Here's what YOU have to do" to "I would like you to consider this."

Teacher Talk Tip #449: 
"What do we get if we behave at the assembly?" You get to feel real good on the inside about how you chose to be.

Teacher Talk Tip #448
"Yes, it does sound like the guest teacher you had yesterday is different than me. Can you think of some ways she is the same?" breeds tolerance and teaches students to compare and contrast.

Teacher Talk Tip #447: 
"You can choose to keep your cell phone in your pocket or in mine. I will know what you chose by whether I see it or not."

Teacher Talk Tip #446: 
Time invested perfecting your relationship with this student (you know which one) is time used more wisely than working to perfect the student.

Teacher Talk Tip #445: 
"You disappointed me." You just sent your student on a guilt trip. They will not enjoy the ride.

Teacher Talk Tip #444: 
Six words that work "And the reason for that is..." And the reason for that is students need to know why and how it benefits them or others.

Teacher Talk Tip #443: 
Do one thing today that makes you more dispensable to your students. Then pat yourself on the back.

Teacher Talk Tip #442: 
"Do you have a different way to make that happen?" encourages students to offer their own plan to achieve the same goal.

Teacher Talk Tip #441: 
"Did you take Bonnie's marker?" If you saw her take the marker, don't ask. That's laying a trap. Say, "Please return Bonnie's marker."

Teacher Talk Tip #440: 
"It feels like we working against each other on this? Let's both remember we're on the same team here." This invites both of you to take a 'you and I' versus the problem stance.

Teacher Talk Tip #439: 
"You are 12. When are you going to learn to organize your materials?" There is no one best time to learn to learn this. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn't here yet. How about helping her learn it now?

Teacher Talk Tip #438: 
"How are you going to fix this?" reveals a concern for making things right and preventing the problem from reoccurring.

Teacher Talk Tip #437:
"How can we keep this from happening again?" asks for a solution and tells the student that you value solutions over blame and punishment.

Teacher Talk Tip #436:
When confronting inappropriate behavior, ask before you tell. First ask the student for an explanation. "How did that happen?" Then proceed.

Teacher Talk Tip #435: 
What you just said, did it help you become the teacher you really want to be? There is still time to change it.

Teacher Talk Tip #434: 
Rid your language patterns of the words fault and blame. Substitute the word responsibility.

Teacher Talk Tip #433: 
Make a BE choice before you make a DO choice about your student's behavior. How do you want to BE when you do what you do?

Teacher Talk Tip #432: 
Do not teach your students that they are special. Teach them that everyone is special.

Teacher Talk Tip #431: "I hate it when the football team loses." Stop using the word "hate" in any situation. "I don't like it when the football team loses."

Teacher Talk Tip #430: 
"You'll never make a living doing that," is a dream crusher. Allow your students to keep their dreams.

Teacher Talk Tip #429: 
"Shame on you." Shame-based teaching doesn't work. It only creates core beliefs of "I am wrong." and "I am no good."

Teacher Talk Tip #428: 
"What can you two do together to move forward?" promotes cooperation.

Teacher Talk Tip #427: 
"What did you learn about resilience from your students yesterday? Not to worry if you missed it. That lesson will be repeated today."

Teacher Talk Tip #426: 
When you ask, "What do you think the problem is?" Be listening for the student's answer, not to whether she knows yours.

Teacher Talk Tip #425: 
"I'm coming." Use this phrase only if you are indeed on your way. Verbal compliance needs behavioral confirmation.

Teacher Talk Tip #424:
Do you have a teaching mentor? Or coach? Is it time to find one? To BE one? Who are you watching and listening to? Who is watching and listening to you?

Teacher Talk Tip #423: 
Non-interference is an important teaching stance. Let your students do it wrong. It's how children learn from mistakes. 

Teacher Talk Tip #422: 
A sentence NOT to say to your students or yourself, ever, "I wasn't good at math either."

Teacher Talk Tip #421: 
Remove "Honestly" from the beginning of your sentence. It implies that all the other stuff you said is not true.

Teacher Talk Tip #420: 
"Why" questions sound judgmental and accusatory. They encourage defensiveness. Use "What" or "How" questions instead.

Teacher Talk Tip #419: 
"You are too clever for your own good." NOT TRUE! Clever is positive. How clever is used is the real issue.

Teacher Talk Tip #418: 
Replace "Why do you ask so many questions" with "I'm glad you are so interested in learning."

Teacher Talk Tip #417: 
If you are unsure how to respond to a classroom management problem, ask yourself, "What would love do now?" Look IN for an answer.

Teacher Talk Tip #416:
"There is nothing you can do about it." Not true. Stop saying that to your students. There is always something they can do.

Teacher Talk Tip #415: 
Doing power to students does not work no matter how loud you get. Empower them instead with choices and outcomes.

Teacher Talk Tip #414: 
"Tim, the way you asked that sounds demanding. Can you say that in a way that sounds more like asking?

Teacher Talk Tip #413: 
"Let's water the plants. They look thirsty." Demonstrates and communicates caring for living things. Creates connectedness.

Teacher Talk Tip #412: 
Your students won't appreciate the beauty of giving by reading about it. Demonstrate it so they can see the results.

Teacher Talk Tip #411: 
"Can't you take a joke?" is a sign that you are using sarcasm in a passive aggressive way. Not a joke? Don't say it.

Teacher Talk Tip #410: 
Recipe for teaching a skill. Show them, do it with them, let them do it alone, have them teach it to someone else.

Teacher Talk Tip #409: 
"The cold weather is so depressing," teaches your students that the weather controls our mood and attitude.

Teacher Talk Tip #408: 
Better than saying something nice to your students? Allow them to overhear you saying something nice about them to another.

Teacher Talk Tip #407: 
Teach young children when upset to take three slow Dragon Breaths to blow their "meanies away" and calm down.

Teacher Talk Tip #406: 
"That's a big wish list. Mark three so I'll know what is most important to you." Helps students set priorities and clear desires.

Teacher Talk Tip #405: 
Never let your students hear you say, "I'm just a teacher." Never let yourself hear you say it either.

Teacher Talk Tip #404: 
When you ask a student a question, wait at least five seconds before you start talking again. Give them time to think.

Teacher Talk Tip #403: 
Judging your students prevents you from loving them.

Teacher Talk Tip #402: 
"I didn't find my keys and was late this morning. I learned to put them in the same place every time." Shows students how mistakes can be used for learning.

Teacher Talk Tip #401: 
"How is this the same/different than yesterday?" invites students to think using compare and contrast skills.

Teacher Talk Tip #400: 
"Let us both put it in rewind and start over." Helps students learn the mind skill of mentally erasing.

Teacher Talk Tip #399: 
"How can you make peace with time?" helps students deal with hurry sickness, reduce stress and see time as a friend.

Teacher Talk Tip #398: 
Saying, "Act your age" to a student is a signal that you are not acting yours. Be the adult in the room.

Teacher Talk Tip #397: 
"Sounds like you're making it big in your mind. What if you made it little?" A useful mind skill for students.

Teacher Talk Tip #396: 
"How could you take this to the next level and what would it look like?" invites students to expand their horizons.

Teacher Talk Tip #395: 
You can't complain your way to a better relationship with your students.

Teacher Talk Tip #394: 
Sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. Could this be one of those times?

Teacher Talk Tip #393: 
When talking to your students about an important life lesson for them, you may also be talking to yourself.

Teacher Talk Tip #392: 
"Let's use a peaceful pace," is an antidote to hurry sickness.

Teacher Talk Tip #391: 
"You're doing that wrong" is INTERFERENCE. You might be preventing your students from learning an important skill: Learning from Mistakes.

Teacher Talk Tip #390: 
Your talk about the weather teaches your students to be a complainer or an acceptor of more than weather. It teaches them how you view life.

Teacher Talk Tip #389: 
"How many times do I have to tell you?" is a signal that you have already told her too many times. Talk less. Act more.

Teacher Talk Tip #388: 
Remove "have to" from your vocabulary. Substitute "choose to" or "choose not to" and teach this concept to your students.

Teacher Talk Tip #387: 
If you have taught your athletes to be good losers, you are only half done. Teach them to be gracious winners as well

Teacher Talk Tip #386:
Sometimes there are no words.

Teacher Talk Tip #385: 
"Are you looking for approval from yourself or from others?" An anti-peer pressure message to help students look within.

Teacher Talk Tip #384: 
"I wonder what she would do if you told her?" is better than, "I think you should tell her." Stop shoulding on people.

Teacher Talk Tip #383: 
Students nag because adults cave. Say "no" the first time and do not cave. Repeat if necessary.

Teacher Talk Tip #382:
When you say "I have no choice in the matter," you are not telling the truth to your students and to yourself. Both are harmful.

Teacher Talk Tip #381:
Will your words help students feel better or worse? Humiliation does not work.

Teacher Talk Tip #380: 
Do you talk too much? When you do, students flip their off switch. More than two sentences won't stick in short term memory.

Teacher Talk Tip #379: 
Saying, "I am not mad" when you are is doing your students no favor. They are left to fill in the blanks with their imagination.

Teacher Talk Tip #378: 
There is no such thing as a problem free classroom. Are you using your problems to create connectedness and grow closer together? Do you see problems it as a gift?

Teacher Talk Tip #377: 
Do your words and tone communicate curiosity or judgment? Just curious.

Teacher Talk Tip #376:
How do you respond to "What do you think I should do?" "The best answer is not out there. It is inside of you. Look in."

Teacher Talk Tip #375:
Replace "We can't afford it." with "In this school we choose to spend our money in other ways." Spending money is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #374: 
Perfect teaching is unattainable. Involved teaching is attainable. Go after involvement today and be successful.

Teacher Talk Tip #373:
"Can we turn this problem into an opportunity?" helps students focus on solution-seeking.

Teacher Talk Tip #372: 
"Let's both take two big breaths and start again."

Teacher Talk Tip #371:
The preface... "Not to be rude, but..." does not make what you are about to do or say any less rude.

Teacher Talk Tip #370:
"You are going to have to handle bullying on your own. It'll make you stronger." Bull! Help your student with this power imbalance.

Teacher Talk Tip #369:
Change "When you don't do what you say you're going to do, you teach me not to trust you" to "You teach yourself not to trust you."

Teacher Talk Tip #368: 
"Let's give our minds a rest for the next five minutes."

Teacher Talk Tip #367:
"Let's take a walk around the school and look for beauty. We can take turns telling what we see or hear."

Teacher Talk Tip #366: 
"Yes, they do it differently than we do. That doesn't make their way right or wrong. What is our right way?"

Teacher Talk Tip #365: 
Replace, "Stop. You'll hurt him!" with "Let's practice touching the hamster gently. Let me show you how."

Teacher Talk Tip #364:
"Today might be the day for a new beginning. What could you start today?" Gets students out of a rut.

Teacher Talk Tip #363:
"What if your knowledge about that is incomplete?" asks students to examine their assumptions. This is a vast improvement over "You are wrong."

Teacher Talk Tip #362:
"You seem really frustrated with that." Statements of understanding need to precede statements of instruction.

Teacher Talk Tip #361: 
A bit of frustration and failure can be a step to success. Do you see students so fragile they wouldn't be able to cope? Consider changing your mind about that.

Teacher Talk Tip #360: 
"Have you told Mrs. Johnson, our custodian, how much you appreciate her lately? Let's talk about some ways you could do that."

Teacher Talk Tip #359:
"How do you want it to end?" Helps students visualize their goal and clarify the result they desire.

Teacher Talk Tip #358:
"You can't control others. You can only control yourself. It's called being in charge of yourself."

Teacher Talk Tip #357: 
Frustration, irritation and annoyance are signs that it is time for a change of pace. Yours and theirs.

Teacher Talk Tip #356:
Say, "There is no right/wrong way to do it. There is only how you are doing it and the results which give clues."

Teacher Talk Tip #355: 
"I don't have the time," is not true. Tell your students the truth. "I choose not to invest my time that way."

Teacher Talk Tip #354: 
"Is that a fact or your opinion? I value both. I just want to know which one you think it is."

Teacher Talk Tip #353: 
"Tell me what you think IS possible," is a helpful response to "It's impossible."

Teacher Talk Tip #352: 
"You decide." Allow your students to choose one thing today they were not allowed to choose yesterday.

Teacher Talk Tip #351: 
"Always do your best," puts the brakes on creativity and experimentation. Take your foot off their brakes.

Teacher Talk Tip #350: 
"You have no choice," is never true. Teach your students, "You always have more choices than you think you have."

Teacher Talk Tip #349: 
Instead of focusing on what you say to your students today, focus on the attitude with which you say it.

Teacher Talk Tip #348: 
"Accepting less than you wanted is called settling. You get to decide whether or not you will settle. It's up to you."

Teacher Talk Tip #347: 
"What if you called that feeling excited instead of nervous? Would that change your reaction?" Rename it to tame it.

Teacher Talk Tip #346:
"Get over here!" I heard a teacher order on the playground recently. How about, "Tim, I'd like you over here by me now."

Teacher Talk Tip #345: 
"Want to increase your students' ability to trust? Give them honest explanations and answers or kids will fill the holes with their imaginations."

Teacher Talk Tip #344: 
"Maybe it's time to switch to your happy mind. What do you think?" Helps students see that happiness is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #343:
"That's what's happening on the outside. Let's talk about what's happening on the inside." Asks students to look in.

Teacher Talk Tip #342:
"There are times to change slow down to speed up and times to change speed up to slow down. What time do you think this is?"

Teacher Talk Tip #341: 
"You know better than that," is not supportive or productive. "It might work (be) better this way," teaches.

Teacher Talk Tip #340:
"If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Why don't you trust that feeling and see what happens? What do you say?"

Teacher Talk Tip #338: 
"If your young students do not understand the word compromise it is because you are not using or doing it enough."

Teacher Talk Tip #337: 
"If you are angry today, lean in real close and whisper softly. Notice your student's reaction. Notice yours."

Teacher Talk Tip #336: 
"What do you think is best, doing the hardest or the easiest thing first?" Helps your students set their own priorities.

Teacher Talk Tip #335: 
"It looks like it is falling apart. Maybe something else is falling together. What could that be?"

Teacher Talk Tip #334: 
Listen the way you want to be heard. You can never NOT model.

Teacher Talk Tip #330:
"There are times to change slow down to speed up and times to change speed up to slow down. Which one of those times do you think would be appropriate here?"

Teacher Talk Tip #329: 
"You know better than that," is not supportive or productive. "It might work (be) better this way," teaches.

Teacher Talk Tip #328:
"If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Why don't you trust that feeling and see what happens? What do you say?"

Teacher Talk Tip #327: 
"What if you approached it with a super-hero attitude?" This is another way to say, "Act as if you can."

Teacher Talk Tip #326: 
"If you are angry today, lean in real close and whisper softly. Notice your student's  reaction. Notice yours."

Teacher Talk Tip #325: 
"What do you think is best, doing the hardest or the easiest thing first?" Helps your students set their own priorities.

Teacher Talk Tip #324: 
"It looks like it is falling apart. Maybe something else is falling together. What could that be?" Helps students see things for different perspectives.

Teacher Talk Tip #323: 
Let your students hear you say, "I get to go to work on your papers this weekend," rather than, "I have to go to work on your papers this weekend."

Teacher Talk Tip #322: 
You can never NOT model. Listen the way you want to be heard.

Teacher Talk Tip #321:
"I understand what you don't want. Help me understand what you do want." Focusing on wants engages positive energy.

Teacher Talk Tip #320: 
"What matters most is what you say to yourself about what they say to you. Your words are more important than their words.

Teacher Talk Tip #319: 
"That looks like a long assignment. Let's break it into smaller pieces." Chunk it to make it look doable for your students.

Teacher Talk Tip #318: 
"That was yesterday. This is today. How do you want to BE today?" Say this to your students and to yourself.

Teacher Talk Tip #317: 
"I don't want to get in the middle of this, but…" If you don't want to get in the middle don't say another word.

Teacher Talk Tip #316: 
When a student asks "why," they force you to do the thinking. Say "Convince me" and you ask them to do the thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #315: 
"What would be a helpful first step?" Gets students moving and helps them learn the importance of one step at a time."

Teacher Talk Tip #314: 
"How could you be your own super hero right now?" Helps students get in touch with the power they have within.

Teacher Talk Tip #313: 
The more time you are talking the less time you can be listening. Be quiet for a while today and see what happens.

Teacher Talk Tip #312: 
"Would you rather follow their path or start a new path?" A helpful question to begin the conversation about peer pressure.

Teacher Talk Tip #311:
"The words you say to yourself about the words they say to you are the most important words. What are you saying to yourself right now?"

Teacher Talk Tip #310: 
"Is this one of those times it is better to do nothing?" Taking action isn't always best. Do your students know that?

Teacher Talk Tip #309:
"I'm going to make it a great day. I invite you to join me." Teaches that the day is a creation rather than an experience.

Teacher Talk Tip #308:
"If you didn't call that bad, how would you have to see it to call it good?" Teaches the importance of perception.

Teacher Talk Tip #307: 
"Please explain" seeks to understand. "Listen to me" seeks to be understood. Do you have them in the right order?

Teacher Talk Tip #306:
"Create a great weekend," or "Choose to make it a good weekend," are helpful ways to send students off on Friday.

Teacher Talk Tip #305:
"Maybe there is something we don't know here," encourages open-mindedness and discourages jumping to conclusions.

Teacher Talk Tip #304: 
"Consider adding 'yet' to that statement. Then it would be, 'I'm not good at that yet.' What do you think?"

Teacher Talk Tip #303: 
"You are not important enough to me to give you my full attention." The message sent when you multitask.

Teacher Talk Tip #302: 
"You can choose to do yours on green or red paper." This empowers and helps students become decisionally literate.

Teacher Talk Tip #301: 
"Wow! That is unbelievable!" Beware of lavish praise. It communicates your expectations were really not that high.

Teacher Talk Tip #300:
"That makes me mad." This teaches other people can make us feel things. Own your feelings so the students can learn to own theirs.

Teacher Talk Tip #299: 
Talk less. Act more. Listen the most.

Teacher Talk Tip #298: 
"Let's start over. Let's start fresh." Sometimes it is more effective to start over than to keep pushing.

Teacher Talk Tip #297: 
"What would be a good first step?" This ask students to think, decide, and begin. It encourages them to come up with their own right answer.

Teacher Talk Tip #296: 
"Let's make a list." Seeing it in writing helps kids focus, prioritize, and visualize possibilities.

Teacher Talk Tip #295: 
"I made a mistake. I will pause for a minute and see what I can learn from it," model that errors can lead to learning.

Teacher Talk Tip #294: 
"I wonder how those two are connected?" Help students see relationship instead of separateness.

Teacher Talk Tip  #293: 
"What shall we celebrate today?" Communicates and models that there is always something worth celebrating.

Teacher Talk Tip #292:
"Let's investigate." This encourages discovery, exploration, learning, and cultivation of an open mind.

Teacher Talk Tip #291
"Let's take a Big Breath Break." Help students get out of their minds and back into their bodies. Teach them to breathe.

Teacher Talk Tip #290: 
"Are you thinking like a problem-solver or a problem-keeper?" This question helps students get conscious of their thinking and their stance.

Teacher Talk Tip #289: 
"What would be a question we could ask about this?" Stimulates wonder.

Teacher Talk Tip #288: 
"You don't have a choice about this." This is never true.

Teacher Talk Tip #287: 
"I believe you can handle it." This gives your child back to himself.

Teacher Talk Tip #286: 
If you are yelling, "What were you thinking?" at your student, ask YOURSELF the same question using a gentle voice.

Teacher Talk Tip #285: 
"What meaning are you going to give it?" This is a helpful question to ask your student when an unexpected event shows up in their life.

Teacher Talk Tip #284: 
Delete "mistake" from your Teacher Talk responses. Call it a step toward success or data that instructs instead.

Teacher Talk Tip #283: 
"Let's make a get well card for Tommy." This helps students see they are not forgotten when they are sick or absent.

Teacher Talk Tip #282: 
"Let's practice appreciation right here." Stop in the middle of a chapter, lecture burst or video and help students exercise that gratitude muscle.

Teacher Talk Tip #281:
"What have you been thinking about that? Is it helping you?" Help students be aware and take control of their thoughts.

Teacher Talk Tip #280: 
"What are some ways you can motivate yourself on this?" Teaches self-responsibility and possibility thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #279: 
"Let's change seats. You be me and I'll be you for a minute. I want to hear what I sound like." Perspective taking.

Teacher Talk Tip #278: 
"I want to think about it. I'll give you an answer tomorrow." Saying when you will answer reduces your student's anxiety.

Teacher Talk Tip #277: 
"I need a time out. I will talk to you again when I am calm." Teaches the importance of time away and centering.

Teacher Talk Tip #276: 
"What do you think?" You teach your students how much you really care about their opinions by how often you ask for it.

Teacher Talk Tip #275:
Don't like something? Say it with words that talk about the behavior, not the person.

Teacher Talk Tip #274:
"Replace the self-talk, 'I HAVE to go to school today' with 'I GET to go to school today.'"

Teacher Talk Tip #273: 
No one gets a perfect teacher. No one gives perfect teaching. Be gentle with yourself.

Teacher Talk Tip #272: 
Change talk about what the new semester will bring to what we can create in the new semester. Teach cause and effect.

Teacher Talk Tip #271: 
How you choose to BE with your students this year is more important than what you choose to DO. What will you BE?

Teacher Talk Tip #270: 
"What can we let go of this semester?" Teach your students that letting go of is as important as adding to.

Teacher Talk Tip #269:
"Stop crying and listen to me." When a student is caught up in strong emotion, THEY CANNOT HEAR YOU! Use the Voice of Nurture instead.

Teacher Talk Tip #268:
Fact: Sixty-seven percent of all sexual assault victims are children. Talk to your students NOW about verbal sexual assault!

Teacher Talk Tip #267: 
Answering your students' questions while correcting papers says "You are not important enough to me to give you my FULL attention."


Teacher Talk Tip #266: 
"What if you assumed the best?" This helps students see that assumptions can just as easily be positive. It is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #265: 
Your tone and intent will make this a question or an accusation. "Why did you do that?"

Teacher Talk Tip #264: 
"Please make a choice to talk quietly or sit by another." Ask your student to see her behavior and take charge of it.

Teacher Talk Tip #263: 
Replace "Tell me your side of it" with "Tell me how you saw it." Get sides out of it. Go for perception instead.

Teacher talk Tip #262: 
"If this experience was pointing the way to something good, what would that be?"

Teacher Talk Tip #261: 
"Now what?" is a helpful question to ask to get kids back to the NOW and facing toward solutions or a plan?

Teacher Talk Tip #260: 
Students do not need a reward for their report card. Encourage parents to give their acknowledgement and pleasure for the achievement.

Teacher Talk Tip #259: 
Problem solving won't work if you or the student is feeling frustrated or anxious. Take a "time-away."

Teacher Talk Tip #258: 
"You sound furious." By acknowledging a student's rage, you help to diffuse it.

Teacher Talk Tip #257: 
"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." -- Rumi

Teacher Talk Tip #256:
Invite your students to add "so far, at this time, or yet" to negative, self-remarks: "I'm not good at fractions... so far."

Teacher Talk Tip #255: 
"You always/never.." Be careful of sweeping generalizations. Save always/never for when it is truly accurate.

Teacher Talk Tip #254: 
"What you think about that creates your experience of it." This teaches personal power and responsibility.

Teacher Talk Tip #253: 
"I like you when…" "I like you, but..." "I like you and…" Drop when, but, and.  "I like you," is enough.

Teacher Talk Tip #252: 
Advice does not communicate support or understanding a student's  need to feel heard when he feels frightened.

Teacher Talk Tip # 251: 
"What can we appreciate here?" Ask students to look for the positive. This question can break a negative mind snarl.

Teacher Talk Tip #250: 
"Are you willing to consider another way?" Get permission before you give advice. And do it sparingly.

Teacher Talk Tip #249: 
"I am willing to see this differently. Convince me." Model for students the importance of an open mind.

Teacher Talk Tip #248: 
"How could you rise above it?" Teach students there are more directions than forward and back.

Teacher Talk Tip #247: 
"Tell me what this looks like from her point of view." Encourage perspective thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #246: 
"How did that work for you?" Invite students to compare choices and intentions with results.

Teacher Talk Tip # 245 
"I don't like what I just heard. If you are angry please tell me another way." Communicate respect for yourself.

Teacher Talk Tip #244: 
"Let's just sit and be still with this for a while. Then we'll talk about it." This teaches students to look within.

Teacher Talk Tip #243: 
Every word you utter to your students defines who you are as an educator. "Is what you are saying really who you want to be?"

Teacher Talk Tip #242: 
"Ha, ha, ha, ha." You are teaching your students values and beliefs by what you choose to laugh at.

Teacher Talk Tip #241: 
Instead of asking, "Why did this happen?" ask, "What do think about that?" or "What will you do now?"

Teacher Talk Tip #240: 
"I know you can handle it." Empower your students by leaving them alone and letting them struggle on occasion.

Teacher Talk Tip #239: 
"How will you know if you have been successful?" Help students visualize the end product they desire.

Teacher Talk Tip #238: 
"What parts of it can be changed and what parts cannot?" Teach students to surrender emotionally to what is.

Teacher Talk Tip #237: 
"You get to be angry here. And you don't get to choose that angry act." Limit angry acts, not angry feelings.

Teacher Talk Tip #236: 
"If you don't listen to your students you are teaching them not to listen to you." Are you really listening?

Teacher Talk Tip #235: 
"Are you focusing on the problem or on the solution?" This points students toward solution-seeking.

Teacher Talk Tip #234: 
"Trust that you know and see what happens." Help students believe that they know what they know.

Teacher Talk Tip #233: 
"Could this be a time to find that peaceful place within you?" Help a student calm himself and find his center.

Teacher Talk Tip #232: 
"How many times do I have to tell you?" They hear, "I expect I will have to tell you an infinite number of times."

Teacher Talk Tip # 231: 
"I am not interested in blaming, only in finding a solution." Do your words aim to fix or to find fault?

Teacher Talk Tip #230: 
"Let's take a big breath break." Invite students to take a break from frustration even when they can't leave the classroom.

Teacher Talk Tip #229: 
"Because I said so, that's why." Is a signal that it is time for a time-out. YOURS!

Teacher Talk Tip #228: 
Hearing your students out is the most important step in problem solving. Say, "Tell me more" and "What else?"

Teacher Talk Tip #227: 
"What are you telling yourself about that?" Ask students to examine their self-talk.

Teacher Talk Tip #226: 
"Have you used your 6th sense today?" and "Why not use your 6th sense?" helps students realize they have one . . . knowing.

Teacher Talk Tip #225: 
"Why do you think he feels like that?" Give your students a chance to be in someone else's shoes or see with eyes of another.

Teacher Talk Tip #224: 
"Liar, gifted, lazy, intelligent, stupid, bully." All labels are untrue. He may have lied. He is not a liar.

Teacher Talk Tip #223: 
"I wonder if you could see that in a different way or from a different angle." Teach students about perspective.

Teacher Talk Tip #222: 
Every time you verbalize an excuse you teach your students that giving excuses is a virtue. No more excuses.

Teacher Talk Tip #221: 
"What ideas to you have for making amends?" Lead the students gently toward an action of restorative justice.

Teacher Talk Tip #220: 
"Let me know if you want my help." Allow the students space to ask for help if he needs it.

Teacher Talk Tip #219: 
When you are not sure what to say, it is best to say nothing. Reflect and get clear. He who hesitates is not lost.

Teacher Talk Tip #218: 
"Now look what you have done. What a mess!" It was a broken test tube  not a broken leg. Use minor mishaps for learning.

Teacher Talk Tip #217: 
"OK, I'll give you one more last chance," will lessen the lesson.

Teacher Talk Tip #216: 
"I hear your anger. It would be helpful if you could say it without cussing." This teaches and points out what is helpful.

Teacher Talk Tip #215: 
"What are you telling yourself about yourself right now?" Challenge students to listen to their self-talk.

Teacher Talk Tip #214: 
"John, your coat." This directs his attention to the situation without telling him what to do. He gets to do the thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #213: 
"The state of your classroom is tied to the state of your conversation." Change your classroom by changing your conversation.

Teacher Talk Tip #212: 
"How could you create a different ending?" Help students see themselves as cause and in control of results.

Teacher Talk Tip #211: 
"What is the most important thing for you to focus on right now?" Provides direction and requires thinking.

Teacher Talk Tip #210: 
"Here we go again." This focuses on the past behavior. Be concerned only with what happened this time.

Teacher Talk Tip #209: 
"You are faced with an exciting opportunity here." This helps students see a problem as an opportunity.

Teacher Talk Tip #208: 
"That's the 100th time I've told you." Exaggeration is not necessary. Neither is mental score keeping.

Teacher Talk Tip #207: 
"I wonder what this ending is the beginning of." Help students see both the door closing and the door opening.

Teacher Talk Tip #206: 
"I'll be back to look at yours in two minutes. I want to see what you made. Surprise me!" Teach students to create on their own.

Teacher Talk Tip #205: 
"I'm sad that happened. If anyone can handle it, you can." Find a time to say this today.

Teacher Talk Tip #204: 
"Let's sit in a circle." Communicates equal value, access, and importance of all classmates.

Teacher Talk Tip #203: 
"All results are perfect for your next step." Help students see it is all as perfect.

Teacher Talk Tip #202: 
"It's time to pause." Communicates the importance of inner stillness.

Teacher Talk Tip #201: 
"The result I created isn't up to my standard. I'll do it over." Use words that reflect the value of quality.

Teacher Talk Tip #200: 
"What's the most important thing for you to focus on now?" Helps provide direction for your student.

Teacher Talk Tip #199: 
How do your students hear you talk about this planet? Change words from living "on" earth to living "with" her.

Teacher Talk Tip #198: 
Could it be that what you say to your student is mainly what you need to hear?

Teacher Talk Tip #197: 
"I wish it were different." Teach your students to argue with reality. It is not an argument they can win.

Teacher Talk Tip #196: 
What have you said today that promotes wonder?

Teacher Talk Tip #195: 
"Raise your words, not your voice!"

Teacher Talk Tip #194: 
"Let's see how we handle this conflict." Help students learn conflict can be positive. That helps them be likely to fear conflict.

Teacher Talk Tip #193: 
Replace "You hurt my feelings," with "I feel hurt." Model owning your feelings for your students.

Teacher Talk Tip #192: 
"Here is something I learned from you." Affirm your students and help them see themselves as valuable.

Teacher Talk Tip #191: 
"How could you change the way you look at that?" Help students realize perception is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #190: 
"Seems like a lot of chaos. Let's sit and count to twenty to ourselves." Allow students to experience silence.

Teacher Talk Tip #189: 
"What's your plan?" Asking works better than telling.

Teacher Talk Tip #188: 
Your students can tell more about you by what you say about others than they can by what others say about you.

Teacher Talk Tip #187: 
"How well does that fit who you want to be?" Help students learn to be loyal to themselves first.

Teacher Talk Tip #186: 
"Thank you. That helped me get ready faster." Add an explanation to your appreciation. It teaches.

Teacher Talk Tip #185: 
"I wonder what would happen if you chose kindness." This communicates peace.

Teacher Talk Tip #184: 
Does what you are about to say to your student improve on silence?

Teacher Talk Tip #183: 
"Do you want me to check it?" Sometimes students want you to check their work. Other times, not. Ask.

Teacher Talk Tip #182:
"The first one done is the winner." Artificial competition builds unnecessary rivalry.

Teacher Talk Tip #181: 
Do your words give your students a sense of unlimitedness?

Teacher Talk Tip #180: 
Regardless of whether you say either "No" or "Yes," mean it.

Teacher Talk Tip #179: 
Seven words your students need to hear you say more often, "I never thought of it that way."

Teacher Talk Tip #178: 
"I don't change my mind for people who whine." This is more effective than, "Stop whining."

Teacher Talk Tip #177: 
Change "I think it would be better if . . ." to "Would you consider . . . ?"

Teacher Talk Tip #176: 
What beliefs about work are your student developing by listening to you talk about it?

Teacher Talk Tip #175: 
You have two ears and one mouth. Are you listening at least twice as much as you are talking?

Teacher Talk Tip #174: 
Do not allow your students to overhear you speaking badly about anyone. Cultivate the habit of not doing it at all.

Teacher Talk Tip #173: 
"How many times do I have to tell you?" If the student replies, "eight" we often think the student is disrespectful. Think again.

Teacher Talk Tip #172: 
"Let's make a mess." Make a mess with your students today. Clean it up. Enjoy.

Teacher Talk Tip #171: 
"We can handle this. We have a powerful classroom." Help students feel secure with their ability to collectively cope.

Teacher Talk Tip #170: 
"There is no such thing as a permanent record," tell students, "You can always start anew."

Teacher Talk Tip #169: 
To reduce power struggles over lying, say, "I don't believe you," rather than, "You are lying."

Teacher Talk Tip #168: 
"We are all connected," and "What you do to one, you do to all." Help students appreciate we are all one.

Teacher Talk Tip #167: 
Treat "fault" as an F-word. Refuse to use it. Use "responsibility" instead.

Teacher Talk Tip #166: 
"No," can be a complete sentence.

Teacher Talk Tip #165: 
When you hear, "I won't," reply inquisitively, "What ARE you going to do?" This gets students to focus on the positive.

Teacher Talk Tip #164: 
"I like you and I do not like that behavior." Separate the deed from the doer.

Teacher Talk Tip #163: 
Words of wisdom to share with your students, "I don't know."

Teacher Talk Tip #162: 
"You throw like a girl." Ditch the stereotypical comments and gender bias.

Teacher Talk Tip #161: 
"Give it the tummy test." Teach young children if it doesn't feel right in the tummy to get out of there.

Teacher Talk Tip #160: 
Allow your students to overhear you thanking another teacher today.

Teacher Talk Tip #159: 
"Go talk to your parents." No, if he wanted to talk to his parents he wouldn't be talking to you. Listen.

Teacher Talk Tip #158: 
Telling students to "just say no," without teaching how to do it is like telling them to "just solve the math problem."

Teacher Talk Tip #157: 
"That's a healthy limit." It is harder for students to resist healthy limits than to fight rules.

Teacher Talk Tip #156: 
"Don't forget . . . ." If you continue to remind your students, you are becoming a crutch that increases their impotence.

Teacher Talk Tip #155: 
Instead of giving answers, consider asking, "What do you think?" or "What have you thought of so far?"

Teacher Talk Tip #154: 
"Looks like you are getting frustrated. Let me know if you want some help." This gives room for them to ask.

Teacher Talk Tip #153: 
Multitasking with students involved sends this message, "You aren't important enough to give my full attention."

Teacher Talk Tip #152: 
"You can't afford the time." Does your student's thinking for her. Let HER think.

Teacher Talk Tip #151: 
"How would you handle this if no one were around to ask?" Invites students to think.

Teacher Talk Tip #150: 
"They are filthy rich." When you talk about money as dirty you teach the MYTH that money is the root of all evil.

Teacher Talk Tip #149: 
"That will be a waste of your time." Tells your student, "I'm smart and you're not."

Teacher Talk Tip #148: 
"Let's not judge possible solutions right now. Let's just generate them." This promotes solution-seeking.

Teacher Talk Tip #147: 
Every man's Teacher Talk language is a picture of himself.

Teacher Talk Tip #146: 
Do not use food to ease physical pain as in, "You hurt your knee. Come in the classroom and I'll give you some candy."

Teacher Talk Tip #145" 
"Convince me." Tells students I have an open mind and am willing to listen.

Teacher Talk Tip #144: 
"What is wrong with you?" This is a signal you are looking at the wrong direction.

Teacher Talk Tip #143: 
"Stop acting like Stephen." This is a double putdown.

Teacher Talk Tip #142: 
"You'll never learn." The underlying message here is, "you need someone to control you."

Teacher Talk Tip #141: 
"Don't run or you'll hurt yourself." So they run and don't get hurt. What do they think of your advice now?

Teacher Talk Tip #140: 
"I mean it this time." Inform your students that you didn't mean it before.

Teacher Talk Tip #139: 
Caring is louder than yelling.

Teacher Talk Tip #138: 
"I've had enough of that." This is a signal that you have already allowed and ignored undesirable behavior.

Teacher Talk Tip #137: 
"I don't change my mind for people who whine," Teaches, "Stop whining," orders.

Teacher Talk Tip #136: 
"Just ignore them and they will leave you alone." Not true!

Teacher Talk Tip #135: 
Saying "Everyone gets picked on," adds to the bully problem by teaching that it is inevitable. No it isn't.

Teacher Talk Tip #134: 
"You're in time-out," punishes. It does NOT teach a student to do better.

Teacher Talk Tip #133: 
"Now see what you made me do?" This is guilt tripping and using unself-responsible language. Hit the delete button on that style of language.

Teacher Talk Tip #132: 
Students have a right to protest. Do not confuse that with whining or back-talk. Teach them to do one without the other.

Teacher Talk Tip #131: 
Your student is just as he is. All the rest is your evaluation. Your evaluation tells more about you than your student.

Teacher Talk Tip #130: 
Do your words show you are working WITH your student or in opposition to her?

Teacher Talk Tip #129: 
Your students need to be heard more than they need to be told.

Teacher Talk Tip #128: 
Replace "Stop running" with "Wow, you're getting good at going fast and right now I need you to slow down."

Teacher Talk Tip #127: 
Replace, "You never listen . . ." with "I trust you will get this the first time I say it."

Teacher Talk Tip #126:
Choose words that speak about the act, not the actress.

Teacher Talk Tip #125: 
Make your words of correction be about direction, not right and wrong.

Teacher Talk Tip #124: 
Correct students without making them wrong or you promote discouragement.

Teacher Talk Tip #123: 
Do your words and actions show you know that students don't function well when overexposed to stimuli?

Teacher Talk Tip #122: 
Students need guidance, not control. Do your words reflect that?

Teacher Talk Tip #121: 
A joke is not a joke, if it is not a joke.

Teacher Talk Tip #120: 
"Even I . . . ." This is a power trip announcing that you are better than your students, superior, and more advanced.

Teacher Talk Tip #119: 
"It's time for a time out." This is helpful suggestion if frustration occurs.

Teacher Talk Tip #118: 
Drop, could of, would of, and should of from your Teacher Talk repertoire.

Teacher talk Tip #117: 
Yelling, "Stop that over there" from across the room is useless. Go to the behavior.

Teacher Talk Tip #116: 
"Don't get your hopes up." This destroys dreams and teaches students the world will disappoint and not to expect good things to happen.

Teacher Talk Tip #115: 
"Let me know if you want my help." This will help you refrain from giving unsolicited advice.

Teacher Talk Tip #114: 
What have you said today that would help your student learn they are not responsible for another's feelings?

Teacher Talk Tip #113: 
"You worked hard on that and I bet you feel good." This allows them to own it.

Teacher Talk Tip #112: 
What did you say today that encouraged your students?

Teacher Talk Tip #111: 
What have you said to your student today that communicates, "You are valuable here?"

Teacher Talk Tip #110: 
"Would you consider...?" This is a helpful way to share your advice.

Teacher Talk Tip #109: 
Talk as if you believe your students can.

Teacher Talk Tip #108: 
What will you say to your struggling students today that sends the message, "You are seen for who you are."

Teacher Talk Tip #107: 
Praise effort, not intelligence. And do it descriptively. "Wow. You hung in there until you got it done."

Teacher Talk Tip #106: 
Listen more.

Teacher Talk Tip #105: 
When holding students accountable, do not lessen the lesson. And do it with love in your heart.

Teacher Talk Tip #104: 
Cheer for members of the other team when they make a good play. Your student is watching. Your actions speak.

Teacher Talk Tip #103: 
"What did you learn and what do you intend to do differently next time?" This is better than "Tell them you're sorry."

Teacher Talk Tip #102: 
"Tell him you're sorry." Teach students to numb out feelings, pretend they don't exist, and lie to the other student.

Teacher Talk Tip #101 
"You choose." This gives the student one more opportunity to be decisional.

Teacher Talk Tip #100: 
A helpful permission giving alternative is . . ., "You decide."

Teacher Talk Tip #99: 
"Check yourself to see if . . . ." This sends the silent message, "I see you as responsible for you."

Teacher Talk Tip #98: 
To help students learn to trust their inner authority, use, "Check it out inside."

Teacher Talk Tip #97: 
"Check it out inside." This helps students get in touch with their inner knowing, their wise part within.

Teacher Talk Tip #96: 
Give mission, purpose, and direction with, "What would you be happy with?" and "What are you aiming for?"

Teacher Talk Tip #95: 
"What do you want it to look like when you get done?" This phrase helps students create a vision.

Teacher Talk Tip #94: 
"What do you attribute that to?" This is another cause and effect connector.

Teacher Talk Tip #93: 
"How did you produce that result?" This helps students see cause and effect, their efforts and the outcomes.

Teacher Talk Tip #92: 
"Sounds like you have a problem." This gives the problem back to the student.

Teacher Talk Tip #91: 
End, "Big boys don't cry." It's not true nor desired.

Teacher Talk Tip #90: 
"I know you can handle it." Communicates your respect for the student's ability to manage his own life.

Teacher Talk Tip #89: 
"Every problem has a solution." Use this phrase to help your student see herself as a solution-seeker.

Teacher Talk Tip #88: 
"Here, let me do that for you." This could be a sign that you are over functioning.

Teacher Talk Tip #87: 
"I'll let it go this time." This is a signal that you could be rescuing instead of allowing consequences to occur.

Teacher Talk Tip #86: 
"I like you, but . . ." and "I like you when . . . ." Communicate that your caring is conditional.

Teacher Talk Tip #85: 
Ask, "How will you decide to make amends?" Yes, make amends.

Teacher Talk Tip #84: 
Telling other people what to do, including students, doesn't work if thinking and autonomy are your goals.

Teacher Talk Tip #83: 
Use a student's name to show interest and to communicate caring. "What do you think about that, Brad?"

Teacher Talk Tip #82: 
Some students only hear their own names when they are in trouble. "WILLIAM ROBERT, GET IN HERE!" Use their names in positive situations.

Teacher Talk Tip #81: 
"I noticed . . . ." Tells your student he is valued and appreciated. And seen!

Teacher Talk Tip #80: 
When you say, "I noticed . . . ." Refrain from evaluating. Scrap, "I noticed this was good (or bad)."

Teacher Talk Tip #79:
Everyone likes to be noticed. "I noticed . . .," tells your child she will not be invisible in your classroom.

Teacher Talk Tip #78: 
"Different people have different needs." This is a helpful response to, "It's not fair."

Teacher Talk Tip #77: 
"You really helped our classroom when . . . ." Help students see the positive results of their behaviors.

Teacher Talk Tip #76: 
Words to use today: "Thank you for . . . ."

Teacher Talk Tip #75: 
"What will your parents think?" This is shame based.

Teacher Talk Tip #74: 
"I bet that was difficult to say. Thanks for telling the truth." Gives more attention to truth telling.

Teacher Talk Tip #73: 
"Please make a different choice." This let's students think for themselves.

Teacher Talk Tip #72: 
"Little by little can make a big dent, Austin." Communicates that growth can by gradual and accumulative.

Teacher Talk Tip #71: 
"One step at a time, Arturo." This helps students appreciate that growth can be orderly and sequential.

Teacher Talk Tip #70: 
When apologizing tell students what you learned and what you intend to do differently.
Teacher Talk Tip #69: 

Every teacher occasionally uses Teacher Talk they wish they hadn't. At these times, an apology is in order.

Teacher Talk Tip #68:
"Touch each other gently." This communicates to students that appropriate touching is accepted and valued here.

Teacher Talk Tip #67:
Use "Touch each other gently," instead of "Keep your hands to yourself."

Teacher Talk Tip #66: 
"I can see the aggravation on your face," builds students' emotional intelligence. It helps them identify feelings.

Teacher Talk Tip #65: 
"Sounds like you are furious with her." This helps students recognize, name, and talk about their feelings.

Teacher Talk Tip #64: 
"Tell me more," lets the student know you are content to be in the listening mode.

Teacher Talk Tip #63: 
"It's still your turn." invites the student to keep talking.

Teacher Talk Tip #62: 
Talk to yourself before you talk to your student. Manage your mind with effective self-talk. Then speak.

Teacher Talk Tip #61:
"How can we both see this differently?" will help your student see things from different perspectives.

Teacher Talk Tip #60: 
"How can we both see this differently?" reminds both you and the student that perception is a choice.

Teacher Talk Tip #59:
"How can you both get what you want?" opens up options where previously there seemed to be none.

Teacher Talk Tip #58: 
"How can you both get what you want?" allow students to focus on finding solutions that are win/win.

Teacher Talk Tip #57: 
"How can you both get what you want?" ask students to work together to reach a common goal.

Teacher Talk Tip #56: 
"What did you really want to tell her?" asks the sarcastic one to get in touch with what she really wanted.

Teacher Talk Tip #55: 
"What did you really want to tell her?" asks the student delivering a put-down to stop and think.

Teacher Talk Tip #54:
"What did you really want to tell her?" Works well when one student uses sarcasm on another.

Teacher Talk Tip #53: 
"I'm proud FOR you." This places the attention and credit where it belongs, on your student.

Teacher Talk Tip #52:
"I'm proud of you," is about YOU. "I'm proud for you," is about THEM.

Teacher Talk Tip #51:
"What WILL you do?" Moves students' thinking from what they will not do (hit, tease) to what they will do instead.

Teacher Talk Tip #50:
"What will you do?" Use this phrase when you hear your students say, "I won't _______ anymore."

Teacher Talk Tip #49: 
"Why can't you be more like your classmates?" Creates divisiveness among peers.

Teacher Talk Tip #48:
"You always have more choices than you think you have." This helps students realize more possibilities exist.

Teacher Talk Tip #47: 
Increasing the volume of an ineffective verbal skill does not make it an effective verbal skill. It just makes it a loud ineffective verbal skill.

Teacher Talk Tip #46:
Remind as if you had not reminded before. Ask as if you had never asked before. Discipline as if this were the first time.

Teacher Talk Tip #45: 
"That's the 4th time you have interrupted me." Mental score keeping takes past garbage and drags it into the future.

Teacher Talk Tip #44: 
"Watch out or you'll fail." Warnings plant doubt in student's minds.

Teacher Talk Tip #43: 
"Would you consider . . .?" and "How would you like . . .?" This asks students to think. It beats telling them what to think.

Teacher Talk Tip #42: 
"How do you feel about...?" This is more helpful than, "If I were you . . . ."

Teacher Talk Tip #41: 
Sarcasm has a victim.

Teacher Talk Tip #40:
"I was only teasing." If you don't mean it don't say it.

Teacher Talk Tip #39: 
"What part did you like best?" and "Tell me how your team worked together." takes the focus off winning and losing.

Teacher Talk Tip #38:
Replace "Did you win?" with "Did you have fun?"

Teacher Talk Tip #37: 
"We'll see," isn't an answer. It gives students no closure.

Teacher Talk Tip #36: 
"One, two, three." Tell students they don't need to begin moving until you start counting. Until then they can ignore you.

Teacher Talk Tip #35: 
"I don't believe you," is about you and your beliefs. "You're lying," is about them and invites defensiveness.

Teacher Talk Tip #34: 
To reduce power struggles over the issue of lying, say, "I don't believe you," instead of, "You're lying."

Teacher Talk Tip #33: 
"How can you both get what you want?" This helps students to work together to find a common solution.

Teacher Talk Tip #32: 
"How can you both get what you want?" This is Teacher Talk that builds independence and cooperation.

Teacher Talk Tip #31: 
When you say "I want you to help me solve this problem," students feel their input is invited and valued.

Teacher Talk Tip #30: 
"I know you can handle it." This communicates your respect for your student's ability to manage her own school life.

Teacher Talk Tip # 29: 
When you say "It's up to you," or "It's your choice," the real message you send students is, "I trust your judgment."

Teacher Talk Tip #28: 
"Uncrossing your arms communicates, "You are welcome to come closer. I am approachable."

Teacher Talk Tip #27: 
"I noticed...." speaks to the student's need to be seen.

Teacher Talk Tip #26: 
When students' emotion escalates, create balance by lowering yours.

Teacher Talk Tip #25: 
"Let's both take a ten-minute time out," reduces conflict.

Teacher Talk Tip #24:
"Don't upset your partner." Teach students falsely that they are in charge of another's emotions.

Teacher Talk Tip #23: 
Sarcasm is a not so subtle form of attack.

Teacher Talk Tip #22:
"What did you really want to tell her?" Reminds students to determine what they really want and communicate is well.

Teacher Talk Tip #21: 
When you hear one student put another down, respond with, "What did you really want to tell her?"

Teacher Talk Tip #20: 
"Looks like I'll have to reteach and you'll have to retake the test." Is better than, "You sure have disappointed me with these test results."

Teacher Talk Tip #19: 
"I am angry about the broken chair." This is healthier than, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

Teacher Talk Tip #18:
Questions can help your students consider options: "What have you thought of so far?"

Teacher Talk Tip #17:
Use "Say some more" to elicit further information.

Teacher Talk Tip #16:
"I'm not sure I'm being heard when I see your eyes looking out the window when I'm talking" is better than "You're not listening to me."

Teacher Talk Tip #15:
"I like you when you sit like that" sends a message to your students that you're caring is conditional.

Teacher Talk Tip #14: 
"You did it," supports and encourages without judgment.

Teacher Talk Tip #13:
A pat on the back, a hug, or a high-five will add meaning to verbal expressions of caring and affirmation.

Teacher Talk Tip #12:
Give your students your eyes when you say, "I like you."

Teacher Talk Tip #11:
Ask as if you had never asked before. Remind as if you had not yet reminded. Discipline as if it were the first-time.

Teacher Talk Tip #10:
Replace "Because I said so, that's why," with "Convince me." Listen and learn.

Teacher Talk Tip #9:
"Let's gather at the rug to talk about this," instead of "Put your heads down."

Teacher Talk Tip #8:
"Joe always helps pick up the messes you guys make." Points your students to a positive character trait in their classmates.

Teacher Talk Tip # 7:
Talking with your students is like using a tube of toothpaste. Taking it back is much more difficult than letting it out.

Teacher Talk Tip #6:
Use big words for small children. The language you use is what they have to select from when they become writers/readers.

Teacher Talk Tip #5:
"You're so frustrated, you say mean things" This is more effective than "You're really in trouble now, young lady."

Teacher Talk Tip #4:
"You must be really angry to talk to me like that." This is more effective than "Don't you talk to me like that."

Teacher Talk Tip #3:
"I wonder what you have learned from this." This is more effective than, "I hope you learned a lesson here."

Teacher Talk Tip #2:
Replace, "You shouldn't have said that," with, "I wonder how he would have reacted if you had said it this way?"

Teacher Talk Tip #1: 
Instead of saying, "You should have told her," say, "I wonder what would have happened if you had told her?"