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Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent, raising Response-Able children.
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My mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including my own), by helping parents learn practical, useable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
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"An interested observer who overhears a conversation between a parent and child will note with surprise how little each listens to the other. The conversation sounds like two monologues, one consisting of criticism and instructions, the other of denials and pleading. The tragedy of such communication lies not in lack of love, but in lack of respect: not in lack of intelligence, but in lack of skill."
----Dr. Haim Ginott
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Fix the Problem Rather Than Fix the Blame
When confronting inappropriate behavior, ask before you tell. Ask first for an explanation.
"How did that happen?"
"Can you explain to me what this is about?"
"I'd like to know what happened from your point of view."
"Tell me about this situation."
Asking for an explanation buys time, helps you sort out your feelings, and ensures that you see the situation from more than one perspective. It keeps you from jumping to false conclusions. It prevents you from saying something you may have to take back later.
Next, ask for a solution.
"How are you going to fix this?"
"What did you learn here that will prevent this from reoccurring?"
"What do you propose as a way of handling this?"
"How can we keep this from happening again?"
Asking for a solution models a solution-seeking mindset and communicates to the child that you value a search for solutions over blame and punishment. It demonstrates a concern for making things right and preventing the problem from reoccurring. It shows you are more invested in fixing the problem than in fixing the blame.
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"Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound" is a 280-page hardback book by Chick Moorman. It is available through Personal Power Press at (toll free) 877-360-1477 or ipp57@aol.com.
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What if the gift you hold for your child today is your receiving? How would you give that gift? How would it look? What form would it take? Can you give your receiving with grace and appreciation?
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We are currently looking for people to become trainers in The Parent Talk System. If you interested in making a difference in your community and would you like to bring effective parenting to the parents and children in your school, church, group, or neighborhood, this training could be for you. The next Training of Trainers is July 25-27 in Dearborn, MI. Request a brochure and additional information at ipp57@aol.com.
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Subscriber comments, ideas, and concerns are valued. Email your
comment to IPP57@aol.com
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"The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they have a common enemy."
----Sam Levenson
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According to the American Booksellers' Association, in the United States...
Wow! Makes me wonder why I invest so much time in writing books. If you want to lower these statistics or keep yourself off this list, I recommend the following:
All by Chick Moorman, of course. Order at ipp57@aol.com or (toll-free) 877-360-1477.
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Want to join a select group of people who are already working to improve family life in their communities? Consider becoming a Parent Talk System facilitator. Our three-day skill-based training will help you assist parents to learn communication strategies that will build love and trust within their families. You will help yourself and other parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
Two winter trainer training sessions in the Parent Talk System are currently scheduled:
Austin, Texas
January 9-11, 2003
Grand Rapids, Michigan
January 16-18, 2003
Email ipp57@aol.com for a full brochure and registration materials. For direct inquiries, call (toll free) 877-360-1477.
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by Chick Moorman
1.) Extraordinary teachers (Spirit Whisperers) realize they teach children first and content second. While they care deeply about math, history, language arts, music, or other subjects of their choice, these educators realize that these subjects are only the water they are splashing around in. What they are really teaching students is to be solution-oriented, take personal responsibility for their choices, become internally motivated, and develop a strong belief in their own skills and abilities.
2.) Extraordinary teachers set up classrooms as more than a place of discovery, a place of learning, or a place of inquiry. Although their classrooms can be all those things at times, they arrange their classrooms first and foremost as a place of creation...the creation of who and what their students are as human beings. They help youngsters stay conscious that they are always creating who and what they are, by every choice they make or do not make throughout the day.
3.) Extraordinary teachers work to create the "OUR CLASSROOM" feeling. They build a sense of belonging, togetherness, and family within their classrooms. They structure some lessons so that students work cooperatively to achieve a common goal. They teach interpersonal skills so students learn to complete tasks while working effectively with others.
4.) Extraordinary teachers help students to "BE-CAUSE" in their lives. They set up situations in which children choose and create for themselves the results of their own actions; for example, "If you choose to bring your permission slip back on Monday, you will be choosing to go on the field trip with us. If you choose not to have it in by that time, you will be deciding to spend the day with Mrs. Olson." In the classrooms of extraordinary teachers, situations are structured so that children get to "be the cause" of whether or not they go on a field trip, stay eligible for basketball, or earn a particular grade.
5.) Extraordinary teachers work to make themselves dispensable. They help the child create an internal standard, internal motivation, and an internal sense of responsibility. They do this by giving students opportunities to do self-assessment, self-appraisal, and self-monitoring and by making a continuous effort to debrief what occurs in the classroom. Extraordinary teachers measure their success not by the degree of obedience their students exhibit, but by the degree of freedom they can handle.
(To access similar articles check out www.chickmoorman.com/swideas.html.)=========================================================
To find out more about workshops, seminars, and keynote addresses presented by Chick Moorman contact him at toll free, 877/360-1477 or email IPP57@aol.com
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Copyright 2002 Chick Moorman Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.