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Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent, raising Response-Able children.
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My mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including my own), by helping parents learn practical, useable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
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"Parents who use good communication skills are, at the same time, teaching their children to use good skills. When parents use angry or hostile words, their children do too. Often parents cause the very behaviors they don't want in their children. In short, they reap what they sow."
-----Joe Hasenstab President, Performance Learning Systems
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Children often want things given to them.
"I have to have these new jeans," they say. Even politely they request, "Will you buy this new game for me?"
An effective Parent Talk response that lands somewhere between yes and no is, "I'm willing to pay part of it." This Parent Talk phrase has several advantages. First, it requires children to think, and getting our children to think is one of our major roles.
Second, it gives immediate and clear data on how badly children actually want things. Often they decide they don't really want objects enough to contribute to their purchase.
Also, if children agree to pay part of the purchase price, their feelings of ownership and personal power increase. They begin to realize that they are capable of satisfying some of their own wants.
Next time your child asks for a new outfit, bike, CD player, or other item, use one of the following:
"I'll pay two thirds of it."
"My budget allows for only half the price. Are you willing to pay the other
half?"
"I'd be willing to put $10 toward it."
Then stand back and enjoy the way your child's thinking about the dilemma moves him or her to a place of increased personal responsibility.
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"Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound" is a 280-page hardback book by Chick Moorman. It is available through Personal Power Press at (toll free) 877-360-1477 or ipp57@aol.com.
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Would it be possible for you to change your perspective today? Just for today, attempt to see everything through your children's eyes. Put on their filters to view yourself and your home. Is there a difference in what you see?
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We are currently looking for people to become trainers in The Parent Talk System. If you interested in making a difference in your community and would you like to bring effective parenting to the parents and children in your school, church, group, or neighborhood, this training could be for you. The next Training of Trainers is July 25-27 in Dearborn, MI. Request a brochure and additional information at ipp57@aol.com.
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Subscriber comments, ideas, and concerns are valued. Email your
comment to IPP57@aol.com
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One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, a mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.
Finally, he decided he had to take the baby to a doctor. The doctor listened to the father tell all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying. Then the doctor checked the baby's ears, chest, and, finally, diaper. The diaper was full. "Here's the problem," explained the doctor. "He needs to be changed." Looking perplexed, the father said, "But it says it's good for up to 10 pounds!"
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Keep these necessary objects in your purse, pocket, or imagination:
1.) A toothpick: To remind yourself to pick out the strengths and positive qualities in your children and in others.
2.) A rubber band: To remind yourself to be flexible. Things may not always go as planned.
3.) A band-aid: To remind yourself to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's.
4.) A pencil: To remind yourself to list your blessings.
5.) An eraser: To remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.
6.) A mint: To remind yourself of what you are worth.
7.) A candy kiss: To remind yourself that all family members need a hug and a kiss every day.
8.) A tea bag: To remind yourself to take time for yourself. You deserve it.
(As seen at Heartwarmers.com.)
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Wanted: Parenting humor, suitable to publish in the Response-Able Parenting Newsletter.
You will receive the highly acclaimed "Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility" if your contribution is used.
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The next training of trainers for the Parent Talk System is scheduled for Dearborn, MI, from July 31 to August 2, 2003. Email ipp57@aol.com and request that a full brochure be mailed to your home.
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By Chick Moorman
"Your child is not taking a year of third grade with Miss Karnes or a year of biology with Mr. Gonzales. Your child is taking a year of Miss Karnes for third grade and a year of Mr. Gonzales for biology." --- Chick Moorman
Are you wondering if it's time to change your child's teacher? Consider the following criteria: Five Warning Signals That It Might Be Time to Change Teachers
1.) Ridicule and sarcasm are inexcusable. So is shaming a child in front of the classroom. Examples of shaming are writing a child's name on the board, keeping the entire class in for recess because two students didn't get ready in time, and making an example of a child who made a poor behavioral choice. If your child's teacher exhibits these behaviors, remove the child now.
2.) Watch out for teachers who overemphasize a rote learning style. These teachers usually ask recall questions. They usually require students to memorize facts and answers to trivial questions that eventually give the child a quiz-show notion of what education is all about.
3.) Be wary of teachers who teach your child what to think instead of how to think. Most of their questions have right or wrong answers, and the teachers always know the right answers. No emphasis on higher-level thinking skills is evident in these teachers' classrooms.
4.) Consider a change if your child's teacher makes students wrong for their actions. Extraordinary teachers (Spirit Whisperers) hold students accountable for their actions, but they don't make them wrong for those actions. Your child is not wrong, bad, or lazy if he or she forgot to bring a library book back on the correct day. An effective teacher would make your child someone who didn't get to check out a new book until the late one was returned, but such a teacher would not make your child wrong.
5.) Be concerned if you see excessive use of stars, stickers, and smiley faces to bribe children to perform. This extrinsic reward system discourages children from learning to learn for learning's sake. The continued use of extrinsic rewards causes children to become outwardly motivated rather than to develop internal motivation. By middle school, students who have been continually bribed with rewards respond to teacher assignments with, "What do we get?"
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To find out more about workshops, seminars, and keynote addresses presented by Chick Moorman contact him at toll free, 877/360-1477 or email IPP57@aol.com
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Copyright 2002 Chick Moorman Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.