Home

Order Your Copy

Testimonials

Quotes

Videos

Programs

Facebook

Contact

Meet the Authors

Verbally Transmitted Disease Quiz

Questions & Answers

Articles

Schedule

The Abracadabra Effect

The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them

 

Supportive Quotes




"Only obey the command of another when it is something that is coming from within you as well."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What flows from your lips becomes what you think about your life. So speak the words to think the thoughts to see what you want to see in your life."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The cells in your body react to everything that your mind says. Negativity brings down your immune system."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Happiness is not dependent upon how well your day is proceeding; it is based on the words that program your mind to think and believe a certain way about your day as it unfolds."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Each and every one of us is unique and incomparable. An attempt to compare is a reckless and irresponsible. Jealousy can disappears only when you let this become true within you."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How you talk about the world in which you live affects how your body feels about the world in which you live."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Remember, your body hears what your mind says and your everyday words are the primary programmer of your mind."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To be successful at whatever you desire begin with these two beliefs; the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Intuition is seeing with the soul."

Dean Koontz

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How you intend to be in any given moment filters your perception of that moment. When you maintain a healthy intention and pursue an effective course of action you can manifest dis-ease free living."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success."

Bo Bennett

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they are yours."

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Watch your words. Your heart is listening."

Eleanor Brownn

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The body is built from the food we eat, the air we breathe, the emotions we feel, and the thoughts we think."

Liona Werner-Gray

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Rid your language patterns of the words, 'fault' and 'blame.' Substitute the word 'responsibility' and see how you feel about the issue then.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The law of attraction is this: You don't attract what you want. You attract what you are."

Wayne Dyer

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Health isn't just what you're eating. It's what you're thinking and what you're saying."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up."

Muhammad Ali

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

Mark Twain

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you begin to relinquish your ego, you will no longer feel compelled to prove to people how busy you are in an attempt to validate your sense of worth."

Miya Yamanouchi

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Feelings come up so we can feel and release. If you don't allow yourself that expression, you deny release and support retention." 

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Easy glum. Easy glow. Your words you use to describe your perspective matters. What will you choose today?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Anything which is troubling you, anything which is irritating you, THAT is your teacher."

Ajahn Chah

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shallow people believe in luck. Strong people believe in cause and effect."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your happiness or unhappiness ultimately arises not from the circumstances of your life, but from the conditioning of your mind."

Eckhart Tolle

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Centering My Being Exercise

Step One: In the center of a piece of paper draw a circle about the size of a dime. On each corner of the paper write one complete sentence describing: an early childhood memory; a frightening memory; a loving memory; and holiday memory. 

Step Two: Circle all the times you wrote "I," "me," "mine," or "my".

Step Three: Draw a line from each circled word to the circle at the center of the paper. 

Step Four: As you reflect on the "ME" at the center of the page become aware that you are the sum of all your experiences. All that you have experienced has created who you are, what you know and how you feel. 

Step Five: Know that any one experience does not define you. You are more.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Engaging the Adult Brain

Thinking about a problem, situation or feeling engages the prefrontal cortex – the adult brain.

When confronted with a particular problem or intense emotion reflect on one (or more) of the following questions:

How can I bring about change in this process?
What could I do to alter the outcome?
What are some choices I have here that I have not thought of?
I have more choices, what's another one?
If this was about something else what could it be?
What is happening for them that I could change or see differently?
Is this worth the stress now for what I get later?
How does thinking or feeling this way now benefit me?

As you process your answer stay aware of the changes that are occurring to your feelings, your thoughts and your beliefs. Make any adjustment in your behavior to align with your new thought patterns.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mini Debriefing Moments

Several times throughout the day stop what you are doing and ask yourself, "If I could start this moment over what would I do differently?" Choose to change or not, you decide.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Today, seek others' consent in all your interactions. Avoid unilateral decisions, ask for input, and listen with respect and care."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our body is a microcosm of the universe we inhabit. Awake and alive in every part of our being, we are the embodiment of all that exists. It doesn't get much deeper than that."

Dawn Cartwright

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It's not consent if you make them afraid to say 'no.'"

Hannah M. Braswell

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If the things in your environment are a reflection of what goes on in your mind, ask yourself, 'Is my mind well ordered?'"

Lyanla Vanzant

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One of the ways we give birth to a new world is by speaking it into existence."

Marianne Williamson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It's only awkward if you let it be."

Silvia Donahue

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Verbal Footprint Re-scripting

Step One: Trace your verbal footprint: Reflect on the messages you heard as a child that led you to disown your personal power. Use the list below to guide you in creating your personal list: 

"He changed my mind."
"You disappoint me."
"Vacation relaxes me." 
"You kids are driving me up a wall." 
"Where did the day go? Time just got away from me."

Step Two: Re-write each message in a manner that reflects your personal power. For example:

"He changed my mind," can be changed to "I changed my mind after listening to his point."
"You disappoint me," can become "I choose to be disappointed by those actions."
"Vacations relax me," can be stated "I relax into my vacations and enjoy them."
"You kids are driving me up the wall," becomes "Kids have no power over my feelings. I can be tired, annoyed, or any other feeling I choose about the kids in my life."

"Time just got away from me," is restated as "I let time pass without noticing and the day seemed short when I noticed what time it was."
Step Three: Create a new Verbal Footprint by regularly stating the sentences that reflect your personal power. Place one or two sentences on a note card. Carry the card with you all day, reading it often and reflecting on its message of personal power.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Create a Personal Success Recipe Box: Reflect on all the moments you can recall where you felt satisfaction, contentment and personal fulfillment. Consider the steps you took in each moment to acquire the level of contentment you felt. These are your personal moments of success. Then write each moment and the steps you took on an index card. Store the cards in a recipe box. You now have your own recipes for success at your fingertips to review and recreate. As you experience new moments of personal fulfillment add them to your recipe box.

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Throughout the day, today, make caring gestures to your children and spouse, giving them generous doses of gratitude. Watch the passion and abundance grow."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing."

Henry Kravis

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If the things in your environment are a reflection of what goes on in your mind, ask yourself, 'Is my mind well ordered?'"

Lyanla Vanzant

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One of the ways we give birth to a new world is by speaking it into existence."

Marianne Williamson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It's only awkward if you let it be."

Silvia Donahue

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I won, you lose!' are words that create an atmosphere of me against you and deteriorate the foundation of love. They have no place in a loving relationship."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgment remains our most prevalent disease and it's often doled out as medicine."

Marianne Williamson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are your words building walls or opening doors? Stay conscious of your language and the results which follow."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Choices made, whether bad or good, follow you forever and affect everyone in their path one way or another."

– J.E.B. Spredemann

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Everything happens for us, not to us, and that's what I love about life!"

– Byron Katie

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."

– Brian Tracy

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Giving is so often thought of in terms of the things we give, but our greatest giving is of our time, and kindness, and even comfort for those who need it. We look on these gifts as unimportant - until we need them."

– Joyce Sequichie Hifler

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We can think, speak and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we are going, not on where we think we are."

– Lyanla Vanzant

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Disappointment is temporary. Only your thought about it is permanent."

"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

– André Gide

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Disappointment is temporary. Only your thought about it is permanent."

– Neale Donald Walsch

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Life just happens. It's what you're believing about life that makes you suffer."

– Byron Katie

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your future isn't programmed by your past; it's programmed by your thoughts."

– Marianne Williamson

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing."

– Lyanla Vanzant

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

- Victor E. Frankl

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you do not choose, you live by default, making yourself a victim of circumstances."

- Lyanla Vanzant

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Doubt yourself and you doubt everyone you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above the doubt and judgment. And you can see forever."

- Nancy Lopez

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We don't attach to people or to things, we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we believe to be true in the moment."

– Byron Katie

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."

– Gandhi

 

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

~ Marcus Aurelius

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Below are examples of a style of self-talk called limitation tales.

'I'm too old to...'
'It takes too long.'
'I think it's weird when... .'
'That's just the way I am.'
'I'm not mechanical.'
'I'm not creative.'
'I'm not a morning person.'
'I'm just like my dad.'

These statements and others like them typically have a trace of fear or judgment in them. 

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Listen carefully to your self-talk. Remove any Limitation Tales."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are living in a world that promotes a language of denial, judgement, limitation, fear and doubt. You can make a different choice. You can choose to use words that encourage, uplift, inspire, support, accept, embrace, and include. Transformation begins with your choice of words."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Now that Thanksgiving Day is over start a new tradition for yourself. Each evening before going to bed, quickly jot down three to five things that come to mind for which you're grateful. Do this every night until next Thanksgiving and you will have a gratitude book representing the year gone by."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you want to make sure something gets finished, start it. Not sure where to start? The first step would be to talk about. Talk to yourself about it, share it with supportive friends or a partner, or create a discussion group where ideas can be shared openly. Remember, your words create. Abracadabra!"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Speak to produce a desired result. Use language to create what you want in your life. Use words to enhance your personal power. You're worth it."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your mind is the delivery system for creating your reality. Your language patterns program your mind. Your words are that important."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Listen to the language patterns you use in your home. Do your words reflect a safe place where all can go and not be judged or questioned?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Teach your kids to add 'yet' or 'so far' to negative self-talk. 'I don't get it' now becomes 'I don't get it yet.' 'I am having trouble with equations so far.'"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Take a few moments to create peace on the inside before you head out the door to start your day. Meet in a peaceful area of your mind, imagine a day of tranquility, then move forward creating the day that you desire."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you hear yourselves state, 'This is just how I am,' or, 'I've always been this way,' or, 'I'm just like my dad,' recognize that you are giving into our limitations. Your rational mind continues to send you messages that support your verbal programming and you stay trapped by a belief that is inaccurate. These statements and others like them are called 'Dead Enders.' When you hear yourself use a dead ender follow it with, 'It doesn't have to be that way.' Then identify times in your life when it was not that way. Smile at yourself knowing that you are more than that now."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The language of regret keeps us focused on opportunities lost and blinds us to the opportunities that exist now. Accept what is and look for the gift that the present moment is bringing you."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Have you sorted out the past so as not to bring emotional baggage into your present relationships? Or do you continue to focus on feeling ancient wounds and past emotional lacerations as much today as you once did? This avoidance of present-moment living is called Pasting. It keeps us attached to the past and ineffective in the present. Several times throughout the day today stop and ask yourself, 'Is how I am thinking and feeling right now based on archaeological baggage or present-moment living?'"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'How do want this to turn out?' This question will help you examine your actions, explore possible results and maintain your focus on the goal."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do your words communicate to your children, friends and colleagues their right to be a separate, unique human being?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Pay attention to the way you judge others. Is this a reflection of your inner dialogue with yourself?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Conflicts between family members or co-workers ensue when we make incorrect inferences about intended message or operate on assumptions. Interrupting or ignoring a person's perspective becomes a common practice as we formulate our own words regarding the topic of discussion. To sympathetically grasp and appreciate the feelings of another, listen intently and seek understanding rather than reacting."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Who most needs your words of encouragement and understanding today? Once identified, give it to them."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stop blaming other people for your emotions. They do not 'MAKE YOU' anything. That is your interpretive mind at work creating your own feeling. Own it."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Find a way to radiate your inner beauty with the words you speak to those you encounter throughout your day."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Seek out real, solid information by asking follow-up questions to settle any vagueness in all your relationships."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Today, forgive someone who has harmed you. Free yourself!"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Blaming your yelling on your child not listening is giving your power away. It is as if you cannot control your yelling and they can, simply by not being as attentive to your words as you would like. Own your yelling and choose to end it."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Until you become a master of your words, your own thoughts, and your own actions, you will find it hard to master anything else."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sharing the truth about your emotional states throughout the day can regulate difficult feelings. It can be the first step toward healing."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How did you cope with sorrow in childhood? Recall times you acknowledged sad feelings and shared them. Then, recall the moments you hid your sorrow in isolation. What messages did you learn about sorrow? List all the words you associate with sorrow. Do these beliefs still serve you today? Can you accept your sorrow without shame?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Make a list of all the negative things you say to yourself about yourself. How often do you judge yourself for who you are or how you do things? Every time you hear self-criticism, think to yourself, 'I forgive myself; I am perfectly imperfect.'"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Healing does not come from the advice or counsel one receives, but from the willingness to change direction and follow where that advice may lead. The words and thoughts that create the conflict, discomfort or dissatisfaction one experiences can be resolved when one struggles to progress beyond their verbal programming."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we're full of ego, we hear only what we want to hear. This self-induced deafness to others blocks our own greater selves. However, we can unblock our deafness by using language that supports and uplifts those around us. In doing so, we fulfill our potential. Abracadabra!"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What if the world brought you to each moment to receive instruction? Will you accept that instruction openly? Are you more directed by personal concerns setting you apart from others, or by a greater good that connects you to community?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Today, experiment for five minutes at a time by perceiving the world from opposing vantage points, as if you're wealthy, then impoverished; ostracized, then beloved; and frustrated, then fulfilled. What different perceptions do those different conditions create in you?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your perceptions reveal to the world to you. You can become open-minded or closed-minded by them. Do your habitual perceptions reflect your treasured goals or your past traumas?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Consider the ways you try to control your life. When do you use forceful words to get what you want when you want it? Are you using language that is domineering or passive-aggressive? What words could you change to lessen these destructive behaviors in your life?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Consider that you live in an abundant universe, one that has an infinite supply of good for you. Then use the language of abundance to open your heart to it: 

'I have and deserve a perfect, loving relationship with the person of my dreams.'
'What I need comes to me in the right time, space and sequence.'
'I am worthy of the very best in life and I now open myself to receive it.'
'I have an abundant life. This is my choice.'
'I live in harmony with my inner beliefs.'"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Forcing anything in life is a self-centered attempt to manipulate what life has in store for you. Trying to outsmart the universe and the path laid out for your highest good and growth pulls you down the path to suffering. When we force anything we're operating out of a fear that we won't get what we want or need. Surrender to what life has in store for you and step out of trying to force any outcome."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are the words you use toxic to your mental health? Remember your words influence your thoughts which in turn impacted genetic predispositions or physiological condition. But you cannot regain mental health unless you take steps to create the language that will imprint your brain with healthy patterns."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Today use words that uplift and inspire with everyone who touches your life, from the people you see on the street to your co-workers and your family. Remember you create what you speak."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One way to uncover and address the inner victim is to watch out for verbal extremism in the words you choose. Today notice when and how you use the words Always and Never in conversation, and try to find more exact, realistic terms to describe what you're experiencing."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Right now, imagine perfect equilibrium between your inner and outer reality--your left and right brain in sync; your feminine and masculine energies in balance and at peace. Visualize the world at peace; progressives and conservatives, Christians and Muslims, Blacks and Whites, women and men--all polarities in this world at peace, just for now."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What do you know about yourself? Jot down a quick list. Then, list what you don't know about yourself. Sometimes knowing what you don't know about yourself can be as important as knowing what you do know."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Only when we know ourselves can we truly know others. Self-knowledge requires awareness, development and implementation. Any time you find yourself in a disappointing situation, consider that this might point to a lack of self-knowledge. Ask yourself, 'What is it that I need to know?' Then listen quietly to the answer that comes from within."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your heart is a powerful force. Use it consciously."

Amy Leigh Mercree

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Criticism creates distance. Distance creates separateness. Separateness creates a disconnect."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What you see in others is what you get. Since you are in charge of what you see, you are partially responsible for what you get."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'How can I see this as a gift?' helps you find the lesson, joy or value in what happened. It also encourages you to keep a positive attitude."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How you perceive your child's behavior tells more about you than about your child. Use that concept to help you examine your perceptions."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Feeling stuck? If you decided to put one foot in front of the other and move in that direction, what would be your first step?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Something to say to yourself today, 'I'm not judging it as good or bad. I'm just going to see it as what it is and watch what happens.'"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do you believe other people push your buttons? Remember those are YOUR buttons. Do not react like those buttons belong to anyone else."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The verbally transmitted disease in the abracadabra effect is subtle, 'When it rains, it pours.' Do you really want this to be your life sentence?"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Many people attempt to get their point across by increasing their volume. Attempting to turn an ineffective verbal skill into an effective verbal skill by yelling or screaming doesn't work. You simply make it a loud ineffective verbal skill. Commit to yellibacy now!"

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Think about a situation in the past when you took the easy way out by not speaking your truth. Afterwards, did you feel short-changed or that you had failed yourself?

Today, look for small opportunities to speak your deeper truth and do so. Notice the reactions from the people around you. Notice how you feel in response to their reactions."

Thomas Haller

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Today notice when you bend your truth in order to accommodate people around you. Practice speaking your truth in kind, authentic ways."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Taking some time alone with guilt is not taking time alone. Stop quilt-tripping yourself. Allow guilt to find someone else to play with."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Dealing with hurry sickness? Remember, being present surpasses speed. Every time."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Choose words that promote cooperation and solution-seeking. 'What can we do together to move forward?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"No action your child, spouse or co-worker chooses has any meaning except the meaning you assign it in your mind. Is this one of those times where it would be more helpful to change your mind instead of working to change someone else's behavior?"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Seek out, notice and mention what is positive today. Criticism creates distance."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Rather than complaining, blaming or criticizing, engage your mind in a search for solutions. Begin the process by asking yourself this question, 'Am I choosing to be a problem solver or a problem keeper?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Change 'I wonder what this day will bring?' to 'I wonder what I will create today?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our language patterns determine our mental and emotional health and well-being to a far greater extent than most people realize."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Until you become a master of your own words, you will find it hard to master your thoughts, actions and feelings. Master your words, master your life."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Pay attention to the unspoken, silent message you communicate when you use 'I need' and 'I want.' One promotes dis-ease, the other spreads health."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sometimes fighting a feeling gives it more power and encourages it to hang around longer. There is nothing wrong with feeling anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other emotion. It's OK to simply feel the feeling and move through it."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Whenever you should doubt your self-worth, remember the lotus flower. Even though it plunges to life from beneath the mud, it does not allow the dirt that surrounds it to affect its growth or beauty."

Suzy Kassem

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Projection happens when you attach a hidden fear onto another and then react to this altered image as though it's reality. Hence the saying 'If you spot it, you got it.' When you feel irritated by a person's behavior look within to identify and acknowledge a similar behavior in yourself. Set aside the projection you are creating and look to glean genuine information from the people you encounter."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Verbal language patterns reveal a decision about what we choose to bring into our lives. The words we express are as significant to us as they are to those who hear them for these words not only create a picture for others to see they also create our own reality."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To take offense when no offense is really intended is allowing others to influence your mood and to take offense when offense is actually intended is still allowing others to influence your mood."

~ Thomas Haller

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we let the world around us affect our mood we become distracted from activities that are sensible, reasonable, and healthy for us. Today, focus on staying in control of your mood regardless of what happening around you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Researchers discovered that 'mirror neurons' fire both when we perform some activity and when we observe another performing that activity. This suggests that by mere observation, our brains imitate the acts of others and their mental states as well. Be mindful of the people you choose to hang around. Their words, actions and attitudes could be affecting you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Affirm your respect for others today. Listen, and let them know the loving qualities you see in them."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Before others can notice and respect qualities in you they need to see the way you respect any given quality in yourself. Affirm your respect for yourself today and share the special meaning it has for you with the ones you love."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Listen carefully to yourself talking today. Do your words and tone communicate curiosity or judgment?"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Those who have learned to regulate their emotional responses effectively experience less distress about their distress. They do not feel emotional suffering (distress about their distress) as much as people who allow their emotions to be regulated by events and circumstances."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Accepting less than you wanted is called settling. Remember you get to decide whether or not you will settle. It's up to you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

An exercise for Relationship Recovery:

"Take time today to repair any recent conflict in your relationship with your partner. First, establish clarity about your feelings by describing them in detail. Identify the core need behind your emotions during the conflict? Second, describe in writing the expected outcome and what you would do differently next time. Third, when you're ready, ask to share what you discovered with your partner. Be prepared to receive from your partner their feelings regarding the conflict. Remember repair starts with mutual understanding and seeks resolution through finding a solution."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shame is a communicable dis-ease passed down from generation to generation through familial and cultural language patterns. It is deeply embedded in the human nervous system. We can feel it in our gut. Shame is toxic and is the natural result of programming by shame-inducing parents, teachers, bullies, and even fictional characters. This programming results in negative self-talk such as, 'I am the worst!' The sooner you shed the language of shame, the sooner you will see the path that leads towards the fulfillment of your true purpose."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Consider that being faithful to a person, cause, or belief means to commit to one's own integrity and values. Honoring one's own principles is in fact the only way to remain loyal to another, for when we break our vows to someone, we disavow ourselves."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Think of your last memorable rejection. Write a short script of what was spoken. Disengage your ego from the frustration you feel from the refection. Then, pretend you are the playwright of this scene, drawing from your life experience to create both parts. How does this scene help each character develop? Let the truth of this answer remain true for you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Typically the competitive nature of Western civilization equates bigger with better. Be it muscle, breast, brain, house, or bank account, we want it all supersized. The highly contagious dis-ease of never feeling good enough in comparison sparks a tremendous psychological dissatisfaction. Judging yourself as not measuring up or not being good enough creates a life of pain referred to as Judgemental Illness, one of the thirteen verbally transmitted diseases. Feeling good enough is already within. Uncovering that feeling and nurturing it is our life's purpose."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we judge others we prevent ourselves from recognizing our own limitations. It becomes easier to diminish the other person than to look at ourselves. The programming that we receive verbally from our culture and our family creates false standards that capture our focus and block us from seeing and ultimately from being who we really are."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We can learn to see each other and see ourselves in each other and recognize that human beings are more alike than we are unalike."

Maya Angelou

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Only when we actually commit to taking an action does the universe give us the energy to do it. Remember it is easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you say 'I have no choice in the matter,' you are not being truthful to yourself or those around you. You always have more choices. Just because you don't like the possible outcome of some of those choices doesn't mean it's not a choice. It is simply not a choice you wish to make at this time."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you operating out of fear and worry? Operating out of fear of our worst-case scenario as a way to hedge our bets against getting hurt creates an illusion and is costly. Fear keeps our lives small; anxious thoughts consume the mind and crab our experience. Worry, a cousin of fear, fills even a peaceful present with painful imaginings. Where is your attention? Is it on what you can't get, what doesn't 'ever' work out for you, or is it on what you have and has been going your way? Where you place your focus determines what comes into your life and consciousness."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The Willingness Factor is one's dedication to transforming patterns of being. It is creating a consciousness of the habits and rituals that result in dis-ease and discomfort in life. Most people get complacent, accepting their lot in life and letting their habits become unconscious automatic reactions or regular practices. Changing these habits of dis-ease demands a steadfast commitment to being conscious of verbal language patterns and the thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that emerge from the words we habitually use. Apply the Willingness Factor to The Abracadabra Effect and begin transforming your life today."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If we think we are 'not enough' or 'too much,' we surely are. Similarly, when you give a gift, create artwork, or perform any task with the thought that it's 'not enough' or 'too much,' it surely will be. Instead, feel the intrinsic pleasure of being enough."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A phrase that is commonly used is, 'I'm not in the mood.' It's often used as a defense against social events or sexual intimacy. The 'I'm not in the mood' excuse is based on avoidance, which can in turn be based on past trauma or resentment or even confusion. Instead of saying, 'I'm not in the mood' be truthful with yourself and say, 'I am dealing with some personal issues around this subject that I haven't brought to light yet.' Acquire a mood vocabulary to deepen your comprehension. Instead of being 'not in the mood,' you might really be craving security or quiet or solitude or warmth. By acquiring a mood vocabulary you gain personal power and come to know your moods, learn to regulate them, and your moods are no longer your masters.

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"INTERNAL SUCCESS is feeling just right about yourself. It is the process of measuring your success according to your own scale, not a scale or standard set by the opinions of another."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One of the greatest truths we can realize is that everything perceivable is in process. When we judge ourselves and others, we are judging works unfinished. 'He's not worthy.' 'She isn't good enough.' 'They're on the wrong side.' Suspend your judgments and observe the ongoing work of change unfold."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"An important lesson for us all: The way we treat ourselves mirrors the way we treat others."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Is the glass half empty or is it half full? When we consider the glass to be half empty, we create a mindset of lack and limitation; when we consider the glass to be half full, we create a mindset of possibility; when we consider the glass to be completely full with equal parts water and air, we create a mindset of abundance."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What we affirm to ourselves becomes our reality, because it's what we're choosing to see."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Positive affirmations are powerful, but they can be overrun by complaining and negativity if you allow your mind to focus in that direction. As soon as you start complaining about how difficult this process is, you have begun using negative affirmations."

~ Gudjon Bergmann

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There are many qualities that we treasure in life--happiness, success, health, freedom, love. However these could never exist without their polar opposites. To define a trait and truly understand its meaning, we must view it in the light of its opposite. Yet despite their interdependence, we consistently interpret 'negative' traits as inferior to positive ones. When we continue to judge our many qualities as 'good' or 'bad', 'positive' or 'negative' we experience similar divisions in our life--rich versus poor, men versus women, conservative versus liberal, black versus white. Doing this limits our experience and understanding. It is important to embrace our own negativities, keeping in mind that to acknowledge is not the same as to indulge."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Language is important as it represents the end result of our internal processes--emotional and mental--and what we're willing to bring into being."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I don't have the time,' is not true. Tell yourself the truth. 'I choose not to invest my time that way.'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One way to stop the spread of the language that creates discomfort and anxiety associated with your job is to let your kids hear you say, 'I get to go to work this morning,' rather than, 'I have to go to work this morning.'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Degenerative Confidence - Language that weakens or diminishes personal confidence and reflects a negatives outlook of the self. It minimizes a belief in one's ability, effort or performance."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Present Phobia - Giving your power away by using language that surrenders present moments. Verbal communications that focus on the dead past or the imagined future. Ignoring the 'here and now' reality of our lives."

  Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Personal Fungatious Feedback - A style of communication characterized by disparaging comments to self (self-putdowns) and dwelling on personal weaknesses. Self-talk critical in nature, carrying the silent seeds of inflammation, often leading to stress, doubt, worry and low self-esteem."

  Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Corrective Fungatious Feedback - Providing a verbal message of correction or redirection with criticism and evaluation. It attacks character or personality. Keeps expected outcome unclear."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Fungatious Feedback - Providing information that is primarily evaluative. Filled with judgment. Lacking specifics and void of constructive information."

  Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Needatonin - A whiny verbal skill that increases dependency. A way of announcing that you want to be taken care of. An effort to manipulate others."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Blameopoly - A language technique used to assign responsibility to someone or something else for the conditions that exist in one's life. An often unnoticed mind trick that allows one to think and behave unself-responsibly."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The Rightabolic Syndrome - The state of having to be right, which breeds comparison, evaluation, and alienation. Characterized by the generation of ill feelings, the digging in of heels, and mental and physical distancing."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgementalillness - A language trap that limits vision and narrows perspective. A tendency to blame, criticize, and compare that hinders perception and signals the need to be right."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shoulditis - A phrase designed to dispense guilt, shame, and blame on yourself and/or others. A method for getting after yourself so you will feel inadequate. A dis-ease that generates anxiety about what is yet to come or anger and frustration when others do not meet your expectations."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Preventarrhea defined - The use of language to delay, omit or quit an activity without taking responsibility or ownership for the choice. A primary preventer to help you stay unconscious while procrastinating or giving up."

  Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Unableism defined - The repetitious use of language that creates unnecessary boundaries that leave you feeling inadequate and incapable. A method for programming your mind with doubt and beliefs about yourself as being not enough. A method for effectively shutting off your personal power."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'The "Makes me' Psychosis defined - The repetitious use of 'makes me' and 'made me' that leaves you out of control and believing others are responsible for your attitudes and actions. A disowning of responsibility. A method for going unconscious and blaming others for your personal reactions to events and circumstances." 

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You don't have to change a feeling if you choose not to. There is nothing wrong with feeling anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other emotion. It's OK to simply feel the feeling and move through it. 

Sometimes fighting a feeling gives it more power and encourages it to hang around longer. Feel it and let it go when you're ready to let it go."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you describe your feelings void of 'makes me' language, you are choosing healthy language that includes benefits of more personal power, more control, and more well-being for yourself and those around you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Limit Exposure to Unself-responsible Language. When you become aware of or notice situations or people who are more likely to use unself-responsible language, limit your time in their vicinity, the same way you might choose to limit your time in the presence of people who complain a lot or use negative language."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The focus of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is on how distorted thoughts produce feelings of discomfort. The focus of VET (Verbal Empowerment Therapy) is on how certain words and language patterns formulate the thoughts that create your present reality."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Personal power is not taken away, nor ripped from anyone's consciousness as so many people think. No, they simply give it up voluntarily with no resistance or concern about it leaving. Learn the language of personal power through Verbal Empowerment Training."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You get to be angry, annoyed, sad or have any other feeling you think serves you in this moment. Just OWN it. And use language that helps you see and believe that you own it."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you are in control of the thoughts, images, and beliefs that are in your mind at any given time, you are in control of your reaction to the events in your life. The event doesn't make you anything. You make you everything."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A traffic jam does not MAKE you annoyed or elicit any other emotion. You make you annoyed by the thoughts you choose to think about the traffic. 
Your boss giving you a tight deadline does not MAKE you anxious. You make you anxious by the images you put in my mind or the thoughts you choose to think about the deadline. 

Your child's whining does not MAKE you irritated. You create irritation for yourself because of how your mind interprets whining. 
Your girlfriend talking to another man does not MAKE you jealous. You create jealousness in yourself because of how your mind interprets that incident. 

EACH SITUATION HAS NO MEANING UNTIL I GIVE IT ONE."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Events in your life do not cause your response. YOU cause the response by a thought, image, and/or belief that you choose to hold onto in any given situation, and that is always your choice."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What is VET? In Verbal Empowerment Therapy the patient learns to identify the unself-responsible language and rescript what they are saying about themselves or the world in which they live."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Simply knowing about the abracadabra effect is not enough to establish verbal empowerment. The knowledge is not a magic wand. Similarly, knowing you have an illness doesn't cure it, but it will help you to make healthier decisions. Curing yourself of the effects of a verbally transmitted disease takes awareness, development and implementation."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The human brain has the remarkable ability to adapt, called neuroplasticity. By consistently focusing our attention on new, healthy habits we alter our neural pathways and evolve throughout our lifespan. The old habits can be revised and modified with the devoted practice of Verbal Empowerment. The Abracadabra Effect reveals the step by step process of re-scripting the language patterns of unhealthy, dis-ease laden habits providing a path that leads to new, healthy thoughts and emotional state wellbeing."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Creativity was never meant to be harnessed. Set it free and it will take you along for the ride." 

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"An ounce of practice is generally worth more than a ton of theory."

Ernst F. Schumacher

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The most efficient and effective way of taking the wheel of our own lives is by practicing self-talk that maintains your personal power and focuses on the well-being for yourself and those around you."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The story we tell ourselves over and over in time becomes our life story. What are you telling yourself today?"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The way we talk to ourselves filters how we experience life. Self-talk impacts and creates our reality. Self-talk is self-fulfilling prophecy, and in many cases it's a self-perpetuating prophecy."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We all have the tendency to believe self-doubt and self-criticism, but listening to this voice never gets us closer to our goals. Instead, try on the point of view of a mentor or good friend who believes in you, wants the best for your, and will encourage you when you feel discouraged."

Kelly McGonigal

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart."

Pema Chödrön

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."

Abraham Maslow

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Honoring your own boundaries is the clearest message to others to honor them, too."

Gina Greenlee

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A lack of vision leaves life up to chance. Creating a clear vision for your life will help you manifest your desires. To make your vision manifest, you must do your own personal work. Take time to sit quietly with your attention on the question, 'What is my vision for my life?' Write down any thoughts, feelings, sensations, or images that come to you. Identify actions steps that you can take. Each day implement one of the steps. As your day unfolds maintain a vision of abundance, remain open to what the universe brings you no matter how small is may seem and be patient."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

Pablo Picasso

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human."

Henri Nouwen

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold."

Joseph Chilton Pearce

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Plan specifically so you can implement flexibly."

Dallin H. Oaks

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"While few of us want to be considered abnormal, being normal suggests that we follow a predictable, entrenched pattern. You might have the same morning routine, the same way of thinking about certain subjects, and the same type of response when you're triggered, all of which have become the norm for you. Whenever one of these patterns gets disrupted, it feels, well, abnormal. Even when people talk about negative habits they'd like to replace, they're really talking about changing their normal--meaning their invariable pattern. To seek self-improvement, you must be ready to step outside your norm."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"All that is important is this one moment in movement. Make the moment important, vital, and worth living. Do not let it slip away unnoticed and unused."

Martha Graham

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you find discrepancies between your internal idea of a moral life and the way you actually live, write out your thoughts and feelings about those behaviors and then identify ways you can choose to behave differently next time."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Listen with an open heart and an open mind to those who love you the most. You may hear a grain of truth that will later become the foundation of your entire belief system."

Callie Khouri

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you hear yourself saying, 'I wish I would have…' Stop, take a deep breath and say to yourself, 'That was yesterday. This is today. How do I want to BE today?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The more time you are talking the less time you can be listening. Be quiet for a while today and see what happens."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you can't start your smile in your heart and send it out, start it on your face and send it in."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Every path but your own is the path of fate."

Henry David Thoreau

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It is man's social nature which distinguishes him from the brute creation. If it is his privilege to be independent, it is equally his duty to be inter-dependent. Only an arrogant man will claim to be independent of everybody else and be self-contained."

Mahatma Gandhi

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Every experience is beneficial for us because it leads to our true life purpose, even if we can't recognize it at the time."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Only that day dawns to which we are awake."

Henry David Thoreau

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It is man's social nature which distinguishes him from the brute creation. If it is his privilege to be independent, it is equally his duty to be inter-dependent. Only an arrogant man will claim to be independent of everybody else and be self-contained."

Mahatma Gandhi

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'He is filthy rich.' Delete words that speak of money as dirty and bad. Help yourself see money as the root of much goodness."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A helpful question to ask yourself when an unexpected event shows up in your life, 'What meaning am I going to give this?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Delete the word 'mistake' from your self-talk. Instead call it a step toward success or data that instructs."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Practice appreciation. Stop on a walk, bike ride, or drive and become aware of one thing you appreciate in that moment."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To be aware and take control of your thoughts periodically ask yourself, 'What have I been thinking about? Is it helping me?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can only exceed your limits if you've discovered them."

Roel van Sleeuwen

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Whenever I feel like people aren't smiling at me, I simply begin smiling and saying hello and, like magic, there are suddenly more smiling people around me. It is true that your world is only a mirror of you."

Robert T. Kiyosaki

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy--in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other."

Robert A. Heinlein

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We influence our planet and one another through our words and actions. The lasting impact of our actions on others or our surroundings can be monumental or minuscule, known to us or not. A profound statement of shared meaning or a mere smile from a stranger may equally shift the way we perceive our self or our life. Be mindful of your influence on yourself and the world around you. It is you who creates."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you love people and have the desire to make a profound, positive impact upon the world, then will you have accomplished the meaning to live."

Sasha Azevedo

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do not wait for someone else to validate your existence; it is your own responsibility."

Jasz Gill

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Don't ignore the rainbow of human expression by being trapped in the narrow mindset of gender parameters. Let go of pink versus blue thinking. Stay open-minded to the many expressions of a soul who refuses to conform."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Everyone makes mistakes all day long. Own yours! Apologize when you can, then start over with a greater understanding of what you did wrong. When you begin to forgive yourself for your imperfections, you begin to change positively from the inside out. And when that happens, forgiveness naturally flows outward to others."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To remind yourself that assumptions can just as easily be positive ask, 'What if I assume the best?' Yes, your assumptions are a choice."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Problem solving won't work if you are feeling frustrated or anxious. Choose to take a 'time-away' and allow your feelings to return to a state more conducive for solution seeking."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Learn to be loyal to yourselves by frequently asking, 'How well does this fit who I want to be?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do your words give you a sense of unlimitedness?"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Something to ask yourself in the midst of turmoil, 'If this experience was pointing the way to something good, what would that be?'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."

Rumi

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Psychologically we are driven toward individuation--the process of becoming a fully differentiated, central self. Our body, mind and spirit unite and we gain a more comprehensive sense of being. This ultimate unity of life propels us onward through all our experience. Integrity becomes a key feature in the process of individuation. The word integrity comes from the Latin integritas, meaning whole or complete. In life, integrity is to operate out of one's whole being; body, mind and spirit. Be your integrated self in all you do."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The invitation to something better is not arriving from any source outside of yourself--ever. Those who get the invitation are the ones who realize that the invitation only comes from deep within."

Bryant McGill

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I love you when...' 'I love you. But...' Drop the 'when' and 'but.' 'I love you,' is enough."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'You always/never…' Be careful of sweeping generalizations. Save always/never for when it is truly accurate."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories."

Zadie Smith

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Although struggling with negative emotions is always painful, those who can self-regulate effectively do not feel emotional suffering (distress about their distress) as much as people who fight their emotions."

Leslie Becker-Phelps

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world."

John Muir

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You have the power over your health and wellbeing. You are in control of your cells and your genes. Your words influence your being. When you speak with the intention to heal you create healing thoughts which produces a belief that you can heal your life, out of which flows behaviors of health and wellbeing. This is the Abracadabra Effect."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Many of us pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that we hurry past it."

Søren Kierkegaard

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"God's most lordly gift to man is decency of mind."

Aeschylus

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art."

Chuck Palahniuk

Following Palahniuk's advice, we WROTE the book. Abracadabra!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The heart of compromise is the willingness of all parties to sacrifice reciprocally and equally for the greater good of a relationship. Reconciling conflicting needs for the sake of unity can't work if just one person does it. A coerced compromise, when one partner deceives or overpowers the other without allowing room for shared truths, usually results in an empty agreement that's soon undermined by unilateral acting out."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

Abraham Lincoln

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently."

Heyward Ewart

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."

Corrie ten Boom

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you find a discrepancy between your internal idea of a moral life and the way you actually live. Create a deeper awareness and understanding by writing out your thoughts and feelings about those behaviors. Awareness is the first step of change."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A total acceptance of yourself brings about a total transcendence of yourself."

Adyashanti

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

Gilda Radner

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Poking fun and just kidding round seems friendly enough at first glance:

'"Hey Bob nice tie. Did your wife dress you this morning?'
'I was going to give you're a nasty look, but I see you already have one.'
'You'd be in good shape if you ran as fast as your mouth.'
'Whatever is eating at you, must be suffering horribly.'
'I bet your brain feels like new, seeing that you're not using it.'

Put-downs of any nature are destructive. Each statement contains a bit of truth recognized by both the sender and the receiver. The subconscious mind does not filter out put-downs that were meant to be as jokes from those that weren't. What is spoken is simply recorded regardless of its intention.

As an alternative, give the intended recipient of your verbal jab a compliment. Tell them about something they did that has a positive effect on your life. Share an appreciation. Resist the temptation to put others down even in jest."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Vulnerability is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule."

Frederick W. Robertson

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Ideals can act as guiding principles and have us shooting for our personal best, or they can be clinged to out of fear or grandiose expectations of what we think we should have. Clinging to impossible standards can seem to justify the desire to flee from the present moment, from the 'now' that is here, by romanticizing another time, place, or person. This exercise in futility serves only to create suffering because there's no avoiding the reality of what is. Don't use your ideals as a way to hide from life, for there is no escape other than to dive into what's in front of you. Set your sights on the stars, but then 'let go and let God' and wait for the simple perfection of the moment."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we put someone on a pedestal, we are not doing that at all, but, rather, we are digging a pit for ourselves. In other words, they don't move from the level playing field of social relationship, but we end up beneath it, by virtue of our own misguided hand. We diminish ourselves by idealizing another, and they are diminished because we see them as something that they are not."

Michael J. Formica

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words are like boomerangs. They come back to you. If you send out acceptance, you receive acceptance in return. If you send hatred, you get hatred coming back at you. What you put out into the universe comes back to you in like fashion."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"People who have an 'I'm better than you' attitude tend to have a low self-esteem and are attempting to give themselves a shot of self-worth. They attempt to chop someone else down with judgements and raise themselves up by comparison. The feeling is only temporary and they are back at with the next person that comes along.

When you notice that you're generating a 'better than' mentality, ask yourself, 'What am I creating in my life that results in such a low self-esteem that I want to be better than?' Rather than attempting to raise yourself up by putting others down, describe to yourself three attributes you possess that have nothing to do with others. Focus on the specific words you are using to describe these attributes. Realize that these attributes are part of who you are at your core.

Through this exercise your self-esteem builds without using others to step on along the way."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding."

Leonardo da Vinci

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we focus on making ourselves right and others wrong, we tend to concentrate on specific incidents that back up our judgements and ignore those that don't. In our rush to judge and be right, we fail to see the total picture. And the picture we do see is distorted by our desire to be right."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we set it up so that we are right and others are wrong, we create mental separation which puts distance between us and other people. 'Me vs. them' thinking interferes with reaching consensus and the cooperative process. Cooperation and togetherness result from a 'me AND them' approach to life."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When a relationship lasts, we hail it as a success, but if it ends we frame it as "failed." The same goes with failed business ventures, failed careers, and failed aspirations. And after too many repeated misfortunes, or because of poor self-esteem, we don't just see what's failed, we think of ourselves as failures. Of course, this utterly demeans and denies the true nature of the entire experience, including accomplishments along the way and the constant forging of inner character."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Could it be that when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place?"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Give thanks for family today, for it is through family where we are forged into the person we become. An array of feelings, thoughts and behaviors were developed based on a variety of factors: the region of the world you lived in, the culture or religion you grew up with, the type of nurture you received, and even the abuse you may have experienced and endured. The complexities of who you've become are a tapestry of people, places and events, all of which form a "self." You are a culmination of all the experiences you have encountered throughout your life. Your family, no matter how pleasant or discomforting it was and possibly still is, remains an intricate part of your personal tapestry.

Bless your family today for helping you become the person you are."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Genuine esteem is not a means to the end of social acceptance. It's a process in itself. Esteem is that little voice in our head that rates, values and judges everything we say, think, and do. It's our narrator and our witness. Because this voice is so private, it seems like it's just us, like it's on our side, like it's all ours. But our natural esteem can become overwhelmed by the power of external society--the voice not of ourselves, but of social status and judgment. It can become a faulty filter that informs our reality and the actions we take. It's such an intrinsic filter, it appears to be reality itself--that's how powerful it is."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is no such thing as telling it like it is. There is only telling it the way I see it or telling it the way you see it."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy."

David Steindl-Rast

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mid-Michigan is expected to get 4-7 inches of snow Friday night into Saturday. Are you ready for the cold weather and the snow/sleet/ice conditions in your area? Many of us are physically ready. We've uncovered the snow shovels, gassed up the snow blowers and purchased a new bag of salt. But are you emotionally ready? Do you speak of snow as if it were your enemy? Do you describe the snow as dangerous, a nuisance, and as something to battle with? When you speak of the snow in this way you are programming yourself to experience problems with snow this winter.

Why speak of snow as an enemy? Why not embrace the snow? Use programming that talks about snow as a friend. Create a "me and snow" consciousness rather than a "me vs. snow" consciousness. Use language to help you lean into winter and enjoy it.

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We all see through our own filters which are composed of the sum total of all our previous programming. Each person's mind contains different beliefs, thoughts, words, values, and experiences. And since we filter what we see though our minds, we each create a unique interpretation of the world around us and the events taking place."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nothing it seems, escapes the critical, judgmental, evaluative mindset of our culture. We talk about good and bad, beautiful and ugly, skinny and fat. We notice gorgeous, awful, lousy, stupid, wonderful, fair, nice, best, better, the greatest, the worst, the least, lower, and O.K. Judgment has become commonplace in our culture. Because judgment has become such an integral part of our living, it could be easy to mistake its confinement. It could be easy to accept it as an innocent part of our lives without questioning its value or effect. Be mindful of the judgment trap."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stay open and give way to the chance that something amazing, healing, and beautiful can occur without your having to direct or control the result."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Through creativity, we fulfill our purpose in life. Through imaginative play as children, we learn our own selfhood and the reality of the world around us. Through original projects as adolescents, we learn our strengths and weaknesses.

Creativity is about options. Allowing the free flow of novel ideas gains us a higher perspective, a broader overview than the narrow vantage point of unquestioning assimilation. Rigid adherence to familial, social, or cultural dogma makes it almost impossible to perceive and value personal options."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Through empathy we perceive and share the emotional reality of another in that living moment. To bear such witness requires releasing the desire to change another's emotional dynamic, because wanting only to 'fix' another's pain may come from our desire to escape feeling it ourselves."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One doesn't have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient."

Charles M. Blow

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have."

Maya Angelou

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you think peaceful thoughts, you'll feel peaceful emotions, and that's what you'll bring to every life situation. If you're attached to being right or absolutely need something in order to be at peace or successful, you'll live a life of striving yet never arriving."

Dr Wayne Dyer

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What do you set up as the enemy in your life? Computers? A university? Mechanical items? Your garden? Teenagers? The garage? Your neighbor's dog? Pay attention to your words and how you might be programming your mind to think about something as causing you hardship or being an enemy. Listen for language patterns that create feelings of discomfort and dis-ease with the world around you.

'This printer gives me trouble.'
'Insurance companies are a hassle to work with.'
'My coworker complains about everything and is difficult to be around.'
'Adolescents are a difficult.'
'My boss is demanding.'
'My husband is controlling.'

Listen to yourself. What do you hear yourself saying? Your words are convincing you of something. Do you like what they are telling you? Remember you can choose words that reveal an alternative. You can learn to speak with the language of possibility."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Instead of concentrating on separateness with language that produces an Us versus Them mentality, increasing our belief in differences, concentrate on commonalities by using language that will produce an Us/We/Our mental frame increasing our belief in connectedness. Us, we, and our are words that help us see and think in holistic terms. These words bring people together in cooperation, harmony, and understanding. Management vs. union can be changed to management and union with the words 'our company.' Boss vs. workers can be altered to boss and workers through the use of 'our team.' The United States and Russia can be seen as 'our world.'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When we see and think with minds that separate people into categories, we tend to generalize. 

'Old people are senile.'
'Women are emotional.'
'Muslims are terrorists.'
'Teens are lousy drivers.'
'Welfare recipients are lazy.'
'Blacks are gangsters.'

Generalizations become beliefs and influence our behavior. By filling our heads with words that compartmentalize, we produce a mind that is less flexible and less likely to see options. Judgements are made more quickly as issues are lumped into right and wrong. Situations are perceived as good or bad. People are sorted into friends and enemies.

Separation is a state of mind. So is unity. Both begin with words. It's your programming that creates your reality that others are different from you. And programming can create a reality that others are similar.

Actually we are more alike than different. Our sameness outweighs any cultural, physical, or social differences that exist."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Divorced, young, Midwesterner, communist, Jew, Hispanic, elderly, disabled. Labels that categorize people cause separation by helping us see others as different. When our words announce differences, our mind perceives differences. When our mind dwells on differences, our actions reflect those differences."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Black/white, man/woman, Democrat/Republican, Catholic/Protestant, Christian/Muslim, American/Russian, married/single, young/old, union/management, blue collar/white collar are words that place people in categories.

When we use words in this way we divide people into groups of mutually exclusive sets. This results in rigid thoughts and rigid perceptions. Words that categorize people are divisive. They create separation in our minds. The mental separation leads to emotional separation. Emotional separation precedes physical separation. Once physical separation exists, the likelihood that rigid perceptions will be challenged or changed is greatly reduced."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Honor is honesty to what is, not blind duty to what you wish to be."

Terry Goodkind

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sentence that begin with "I am" are powerful programming that can cement erroneous beliefs into your consciousness. Some people use language to identify with being old:

'I'm over the hill.'
'I'm not what I used to be.'
'I may be giving away my age, but ….'
'It must be my age.'

Others use language to identify with being anxious:

'I'm nervous.'
'I'm just a worrier.'
'I am anxious about that.'
'I'm overwhelmed by it all.'

'I am ' is a clue. What follows that phrase is important programming. Use language that will activate your mind and body to feel great, handle adversity, and overcome dis-ease. Reprogram your bio-computer. Change 'I am nervous,' to 'I am energized.' Change '"I am anxious,' to 'I am filled with anticipation.' Change 'I am getting too old for this,' to 'I am wiser and able to handle this now more than ever before.'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow."

~ Helen Keller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is a style of arranging language that shuts off possibility so quickly and permanently in your life that it deserves a special name. Choosing words of this type leaves you with no way out. They are called Dead Enders. Here are a few of the most common:

'That's just the way I am.'
'It's just a natural state of mind.'
'I'm just a Pisces.'
'I'm a morning person. What do you expect from me?'
'That's life.'
'That's destiny.'
'I'm just like my father.'
'I have a quick temper.'
'I'm not mechanical.'
'I'm not mathematical.'

Each of these Dead Enders is a variation or "There isn't anything I can do." Each is programming that diminishes your personal power. Become more conscious of your Dead Enders. Eliminate them from your vocabulary or at the very least negate them by saying after each dead ender, 'It doesn't have to follow that way for me.'"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Some people have two full-time jobs: Working to support their lifestyles and creating illusions to impress the society and their peers."

Edmond Mbiaka

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures."

Rabindranath Tagore

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Noting is TOO anything.

TOO is a primary preventer. People use it to prevent taking action and follow through. 'I'm too old to start jogging,' 'I was too mad to say something nice to her,' 'That's too hard.'

TOO is also an excuse. 'It was too hot in the gym for me to perform well,' 'He was too upset with me so I didn't tell him,' 'I was too nervous at the start of the game.'

Drop the word 'TOO' from your language; you will expand your awareness of possibilities that exist."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time."

Caroline Myss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Always and never swing both ways. They can be used to shut out and allow no options or they can be used to open up and increase possibility in your life.

You can clog the natural flow with phrases like this:

'I never play well against him.'
'I always have trouble with the first paragraph.'
'Icy roads always cause me problems.'

You can raise the ceiling on your capabilities by using always and never to your advantage:

'I always give people more than their money's worth.'
'I never let down near the end.'
'My mind always produces at least one good idea a day.'

Pay attention to how you use always and never."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy--the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation."

Eric Hoffer

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your mind is where you create or inhibit your possibilities. The thoughts in your mind are made up of words. It's time to take charge of the controls of your mind. It's time to intentionally program your own bio-computer with words that work for you, words that help you to sense choice, power and energy. Abracadabra!"

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your words become your boundaries. They confine you by limiting your vision and your awareness of possibilities that exist in your life."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

""I can't' is not the only phrase that chokes off possibility in your life. There are other synonyms that limit choice, confine thoughts and restrict your view of yourself. Some of them are: 

'I couldn't help it.'
'I'd like to be able to do that.'
'It's impossible.'
'It's no use.'

These words limit what you allow yourself to perceive and believe. They help create the illusion that you are limited."

Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Accomplish but do not boast, accomplish without show, accomplish without arrogance, accomplish without grabbing, accomplish without forcing."

Lao Tzu

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

Stephen R. Covey

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you think someone or something other than yourself is responsible for your happiness or success, I'd guess you're not that happy or successful."

Rob Liano

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it's a relationship, a business or a hobby."

Neil Strauss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The difference between the needs that many disabled people have and the needs of people who are not labelled as disabled is that non-disabled people have had their dependencies normalized."

A J Withers

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Don't say, 'Why me?' Just say, 'TRY ME!' When life puts you in tough situations, instead of feeling like a victim."

Alan H. Cohen

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you realize that your own thoughts are the barrier to a happy life, that is the moment your life can begin to heal."

Kimberly Mitchell

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stop blaming others, start taking ownership of your actions and the world will give you another chance."

Spiritual Truths

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Remember that every act is an act of self-definition. Every thought carries the energy of creation."

Neale Donald Walsch

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To be mindful is to be dead center in the present. Gurus and teachers from the beginning of time have pointed the way to this single moment where the past and present collide with the future, by reminding us to be here now."

― Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence - Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea."

― Shunryu Suzuki

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can step out of your limiting beliefs. You can add more choice and possibility to your life. You can be an 'I can' person. It all starts with your words, the language you choose to use. You can do it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Don't wear unhelpful grooves into your subconscious mind. Choose programming that creates positive beliefs."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Youth is a state of mind and heart, grounded in happiness and gratitude and born out of a willingness to embrace our age and celebrate the privilege of growing older. Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence."

― Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nothing brings you down. You bring yourself down. Circumstances are only as significant as you make them. Choose your perspective wisely." 

― Mike Rule - WayPoint

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting a particular way... you become just by performing just actions, temperate by performing temperate actions, brave by performing brave actions."

― Aristotle

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are bombarded in our culture with a steady stream of 'can't's' until many of us have come to believe falsely in our own limits. Are you sure it is a 'can't' or could you do it if you wanted to deeply enough? You decide."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I can't' language is the predominate self-limiting phrase used in our culture. It's a clear example of how people limit themselves through choice language/ Most 'I can't's' are a lie. They are simply not true. They are a way of talking to yourself so that you don't have to take responsibility for the decisions you make. It's a way of disowning and getting yourself off the hook. After all, if you can't, then how could you possibly be responsible?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Equilibrium is not only the state in which opposing forces are balanced, but also, the calmness of our minds, our being, where we can take full control of our lives, and still appear calm in the midst of adversity."

― Gladys Adevey

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Any man could, if he were so inclined, be the sculptor of his own brain."

― Santiago Ramón y Cajal

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought."

― Basho

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you believe that your problem is caused by someone or something else, you become your own victim."

― Byron Katie

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The thing about denial is that it doesn't feel like denial when it's going on."

― Georgina Kleege

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The forces which move the cosmos are not different from those which move the human soul."

― Lama Anagarika Govinda

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."

― Albert Einstein

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The language of luck diminishes personal power. It dilutes the faith and confidence you have in yourself and gives some unknown outside force credit for your success and failure. It's a way of seeing yourself as helpless and at the mercy of fate or fortune. Let go of the language of luck. Use words that intentionally remind yourself that you have the capacity to manage your own mind and you are the one in charge of programming your own life."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There are many words and phrases in our language that refer to the concept of luck.

'I really lucked out.'
'She led a charmed life.'
'Wow, what a coincidence.'
'What an unfortunate string of events.'
'I'm just jinxed today.'

These words and other like them, embellish the myth that luck exists and that it is at work in our lives. Remove the language of luck and get back to owning personal responsibility for the circumstances of your life."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

― Charles Dubois

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you decide to take charge of your words, you decide to take charge of your life. By carefully choosing the words you use, you program your own mind and in turn change your life."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Question: "How does one create their own reality?"

Answer: "Learn to choose your own words and design your own talk. Develop the capacity to manage your own mind with self-responsible language. Cultivate verbal empowerment techniques. Through continued use of a language of personal power your life eventually becomes congruent with your words and your own reality is established."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is personal power in choosing healthy language. And it's a healthy liberating power that leads to self-responsibility and self-direction."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Listen to your words. You may hear potential danger there, or you may find the source of your strength. You may discover how you limit or how you free yourself. You may hear words you use to propel yourself into action or find language you use to postpone."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words are an opportunity. They are an opportunity to examine what you are really telling yourself. They are an opportunity to take firmer control of your life and move in directions that are satisfying, meaningful and uplifting. They are an opportunity to increase your sense of personal power."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Monitoring your language is important feedback for determining what it is you imagine. You become what you imagine yourself to be. When you hold images of yourself as healthy and full of energy, there's a greater likelihood you will be healthy and full of energy."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We have a fundamental language choice in our lives. We can choose our own words or use the programming that is predominate in our culture. We can intentionally select words to fit our purpose or use what we've learned from social media, friends and relatives. Choose words that leave you in a place you like."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can choose your destiny by managing your mind. You are the writing, the director and computer programmer for your mind, and words are your primary programming tool."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words are the beginning of how we structure our life. In terms of self-responsibility and personal power, it works like this: self-responsible behavior flows out of self-responsible beliefs; self-responsible beliefs are generated by self-responsible thoughts; self-responsible thoughts are created with self-responsible language. To change the direction and outcome of your life, you can begin by changing your words."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are all in charge of our own responses to the events of our lives. Your response to the world around you is under your jurisdiction. You are responsible for your actions and your feelings."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can change the quality and direction of your life by purposefully selecting language that will create within you the programming that will get you where you want to be. Yes, by controlling your words you can control your life."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet: Human Unconsciousness"

― Eckhardt Tolle

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold."

― Joseph Chilton Pearce

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you use words that focus on a problem, you send energy to that problem and you get more of what you don't want. When you use words that focus on a solution you send energy away from the problem at hand and you get more of what you do want."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light."

― Mary Dunbar

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A total acceptance of yourself brings about a total transcendence of yourself."

― Adyashanti

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Placing fault happens when one looks back with misunderstanding."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength - carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."

― Corrie ten Boom

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you want to be respected, you must respect yourself."

― Spanish proverb

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are each responsible for what we see and for the amount of attention we give that choice of perception."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What you give your attention to increases. What do you see, think about, and talk about in regards to yourself, your children, partner, or your job? Whatever it is, you can be sure of one thing: It will increase."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Parents' teachers' coaches, childcare workers, and others who work with children, take note. Your words are like planting seeds. Positive outcomes are not produced by speaking negative words. What kind of harvest are you interested in?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Is it you that makes the choice or the choice that makes you?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Who you think you are is exactly who you will wind up being. You are your own thoughts about yourself, manifest."

― Neale Donald Walsch

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our thoughts follow our words and send a vibration into the universe, the essence of which is attracted to us. Essentially, we get what we habitually talk and think about."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Whenever I feel like people aren't smiling at me, I simply begin smiling and saying hello and, like magic, there are suddenly more smiling people around me. It is true that your world is only a mirror of you."

― Robert T. Kiyosaki

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Two kinds of vibrations exist in our lives, positive and negative. Every word you speak, every thought you think, every image you hold, every emotion you feel or mood you hang onto sends out a positive or negative vibration."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We create our own reality by attracting into our lives what we give our attention and thoughts to. Our words are the vehicle that focuses our thoughts."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is no amount of action you can take that can overcome a foundation of negative thought and emotion."

Teaching the Attraction Principal to Children - Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nothing can happen for you in the outside world until you create the energy to attract it to and through your inside world."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I love my thoughts about lunch today. How could I love lunch without them?"

― Byron Katie

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How are you?" We all hear that question several times a day as well as variations like, "How ya doing?" and "How's it going?" These questions are an opportunity to remind yourself of the importance of how you choose to talk to yourself and others.

When someone asks, "How are you?" do not respond with, "O.K.," "Average," "Fair to mid'lin," "Could be better," "I've been worse," "So-so," "It's too early to tell," "Wait 'till I wake up and I'll let you know," or any other variation that sends a message that is less than ecstatic. If you're currently using one of the phrases above, stop!

Remember, language is programming. You are programming your mind with thoughts that become beliefs and effect your actions Get in the habit of responding with words like, "Wonderful," "Incredible," "Superb," "Unbeatable, "A notch above excellent," "Harmonious" or our favorite, "Invincible."
Or do what Chick has started to do. He tells people he is a six.

"How you doing?"
"About a six."
"Only a six?"
"That's on a scale from one to five."

The last line always gets them, producing a big smile and a friendly connection.

As you respond to these habitual inquiries of others with words that communicate energy and enthusiasm, you will begin to feel more energetic and enthusiastic. You will be using those opportunities to strengthen your newly emerging habit of using words to create your own reality.

By changing how you respond to "How are you?" you take conscious control of your programming. When you take charge of what goes in, you affect what comes out. You become more self-responsible. Just like magic Abracadabra.

By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You cannot live while you have one foot in the past, the past is dead, you do not come alive unless you awaken to the now."

Spiritual Truths @TheGodLight

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When something someone says upsets you, your upset is not about the other person. Feelings are triggered from within."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your body is a living organism that hears and believes every thought you think and every word you speak."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Get a person thinking a certain way and you can get a person to act a certain way. It is not easily done the other way around."

― Neale Donald Walsch

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When your joy is dependent on people and conditions, it is restricted."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Presentphobia Definition: Giving your power away by using language that surrenders present moments. Verbal communications that focus on the dead past or the imagined future. Ignoring the 'here and now' reality of our lives."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you can master your own mind, everything you touch will flower into beauty, for your mind is the catalyst."

― Spiritual Truths

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When one is an honest person, one is honest even when not in the act of telling the truth. One's status of 'honest' gets to coast on the one's general actions and doesn't need constant proof. There are times where one is graced and can actually tell the truth in words, while at other times one is graced by the knowing that one is truthful."

― Alexandra Katehakis & Tom Bliss

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your thoughts become the experiences you live. Releasing old thought patterns clears the way for new patterns of living."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Belief is always alive one way or the other. We aren't always aware of what belief is in there and operating like magic. Abracadabra!"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There are times when a question is not a question. It occurs when someone wants to make a comment and disguises it as a question. When you state your opinion rather than embed in a question, you sound confident of your opinions, beliefs, and feelings."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hey, you’re an expert, too. How could anyone be more qualified than you in describing your beliefs and expressing your thoughts?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We are capable of directing the outcome of any and every situation we face through the power of our thought."

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What you seek to heal are the wounds created by your beliefs. Your deepest beliefs have created the behaviors which have produced the wounds"

― Neale Donald Walsch

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Just because someone calls you stupid, fat, or ugly doesn't mean you have to accept it. It matters less what someone says to you and more whether or not you believe it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"See 'If only,' 'I wish I had,' 'Why didn't I' and other phrases of lament as a reminder to step forward into present-moment living. When you recognize that signal, stop. Pause and ask yourself, 'What can I do in this moment that will impact the situation favorably?'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you exaggerate, not everyone knows you're doing it. But you do. Did you also know you're admitting to yourself that your thoughts and ideas by themselves aren't enough, that they need help to appear credible? You are reinforcing the belief that your ideas must be surrounded by inflated numbers to have importance. This is another way of telling yourself that you alone are not enough. Skip the exaggeration. You are enough just the way you are."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"An effective antidote to should have is could have. Yep, just change 'should' to 'could.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Does guilt change anything you did in the past? No. Does it help you go back and replay it? No. Does it help you change your present behavior? No. If you create change after you do guilt to yourself, that change occurs in spite of guilt, rather than because of it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Another way to invest your present energy by pasting is to use 'should have' and 'ought to have.' Thought, energy, and time invested in looking at past behavior and results, learning from it, and making new choices is useful. As opposed to lamenting the past, serious reflection is a strategy you can use to mobilize yourself for change and growth."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'This is going to be difficult.' Are you sure you want to believe it's going to be difficult? You can change your mind and your forecast by changing your words."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you habitually reliving moments that are already over? Do you dispense dis-ease to yourself with regret, guilt, resentment, or lamenting? When you are living in regret, how can you see yourself as self-reliant? If your words and thoughts are filled with resentment, how can you perceive yourself as self-confident? Regret and resent and you create a mindset that seeks external justice. That search catapults you back into the belief that outside events, rather than your internal reactions to those events, create your experience."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Living in the past, or 'pasting,' is another form of Presentphobia. This dis-ease is brought on by using your present moments replaying, regretting, resenting, and rehashing.

If only I hadn't gotten married so young.
I wish I had accepted the offer to go to technology camp.
I would have liked to have been offered the promotion instead of Carlos getting it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Remember what Abracadabra means, I create what I speak.

Words. 
Words structure thoughts. 
Thoughts build beliefs. 
Beliefs lead to actions."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I'll be happy when' keeps you focused on the future and thus less powerful in the present. It is an effective way to stay unconscious and give up responsibility for creating happiness right now, in this moment."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I'll be happy when' is language that leads you to conclude that happiness is created by outside events. It’s no different from 'This job makes me happy/mad.' If you say, 'I'll be happy when I get scheduled on the day shift' often enough, you begin to believe it’s the day shift that makes you happy. If you believe that, you have given away your personal power to the concept labeled 'day shift.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I'll do it when . . . ' is a Sometime Soon action stopper. Many people use it their entire lives.

'I'll do it when I graduate.'
'I'll do it when I get a job.'
'I'll do it when I save some money.'
'I'll do it when I finish my master's degree."
'I'll do it when I get a promotion.'
'I'll do it when I become the boss.'
'I'll do it when I retire.'
'I'll do it when I write my book.'

Time to move forward. Let go of the Sometime Soon Syndrome and start today."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One way we prevent ourselves from taking action is through procrastination. We call it the 'Sometime Soon Syndrome.'"

"One of these days, I'll reorganize these files."
"Eventually, I’m going to confront him about taking long lunch hours."
"I'm going to write a letter to my congresswoman someday soon."
"When I get more money, I'll start investing."

"Doing is more powerful than going to. Doing now is more effective than eventually. Scrap 'going to' and 'eventually.' If you want to, do it. If you don't want to, don't do it. Both choices reveal more personal power than the wishy-washy 'I'm going to.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You've been going on and on about not futuring and living in the present. What about planning for the future? If I don't think about or mention the future, how do I complete a plan? How will I accomplish anything without doing some planning?"

"We're happy you asked that question. The answer resides in your last phrase, 'doing some planning.' Planning is doing. Planning for the future is not living in the future. It is living now. What you are actually doing when you plan is using your present moments to prepare for the future."

― Thomas Haller

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hoping and wishing produce the dis-ease of pain, frustration, annoyance, and irritation. Hoping and wishing are used to create mental models in your head of how you believe things should be. When your belief does not match the reality of what is present in your life dis-ease sets in. Instead of hoping and wishing things to be different start by emotionally accepting what is and then slowly making changes to bring about a more desired outcome. In this way the focus stays more on your moment of personal power, the here and now."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Hoping and wishing tell your subconscious mind you prefer a certain outcome in the future. By expecting a result in the future, you unconsciously intend for it not to occur now. Since the future never arrives, neither does the result you hoped for."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words make minds. And it is the mind more than anything else that determines our mental and emotional health and the quality of our living. Your words and language patterns behave like hypnotic forces and make an impression on your subconscious mind."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"By worrying, we trick ourselves into believing we're being effective. In reality, we are simply filling our minds and our time with worry which prevents us from doing something constructive. Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The act of worry warting doesn't prevent what one is worrying about from happening."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Another strand of Presentphobia occurs when time is invested in worrying. This dis-ease is immobilizing and uses words to create pictures in your consciousness of unpleasant happenings that could occur in the future. Worry is a useless emotion packed full of negative goal setting, expectations, and intentions."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you become conscious of a 'what if,' you can lessen its influence by quickly stating the opposite. If you catch yourself saying, 'What if he dislikes my presentation?' follow it immediately with, 'What if he loves my presentation?' 'What if she gets really upset?' can be overridden with, 'What if she gets really happy?'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Negative emotional and physical responses can also be triggered by images you create with 'what if' statements."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'What if' plants negative pictures in your mind. If you say aloud or silently to yourself, 'What if I get sick?' you are likely to picture yourself being sick. An image of being sick often leads to the dis-ease of anxiety, worry, or frustration. Sometimes it leads to being sick."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'What if' is one of the main symptoms of futuring. Have you heard yourself say it aloud recently? Perhaps you said it silently to yourself. 
'What if they show up late?'
'What if the machine breaks down?'
'What if the recipe doesn’t turn out right?'
'What if I get sick?'
'What if' keeps you from enjoying your present moments by focusing your energy and attention on an imagined future, one that may never occur."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you missing being fully present because of the words and thoughts planted in your consciousness? Check-in with yourself regularly and re-mind yourself that this moment is all there is."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do you want to hang out in your only moment of power? Do you want to live in the present? Do you want to grab your power and put it to use more effectively in your life? You can only do it now, and your language patterns can help you do just that."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'This moment is all there is' and 'Your only point of power is now' are cute little catch phrases. You hear them and others like them frequently. You see them on posters. Calendars, wall hangings, and bumper stickers showcase their importance. Yet, for all their visibility, these 'live in the now' sayings don't seem to have much influence on our everyday language patterns or impact our style of living."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Presentphobia definition: Giving your power away by using language that surrenders present moments. Verbal communications that focus on the dead past or the imagined future. Ignoring the 'here and now' reality of our lives."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you notice a symptom (boredom, annoyance, anxiety, depression, joy, excitement, arousal, etc.), look inward for explanations and meaning. That is where health is created. That is where your power is. That is the key to your recovery and wellness."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In The Abracadabra Effect we describe the infectious nature of 13 invisible maladies and detail ways to prevent and/or cure them. We show you how our language patterns, our repetitious thought and the resulting beliefs we come to hold, create the reality we produce in our lives. Remember language is more than a medium of communication. It is also a medium of perception."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Attacks on your personality or character are full of fungi and lower your ability to implement effective change. Practice giving yourself feedback that speaks to the situation rather than to you as a person. Use self-talk that mentions what was done rather than who did it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There are three main ingredients in Constructive Feedback: it's specific, it focuses on behavior, and it delivers information."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Constructive Feedback, used regularly, produces anti-inflammatory benefits that limit dis-ease and increase personal harmony."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Constructive Feedback is necessary for giving yourself useful information when considering a new direction. Self-criticism is not. There is a difference."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Personal Fungatious Feedback often leads to dis-ease manifesting as depression, discouragement, and fear, which can produce inaction and lower levels of confidence."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Remember, thoughts turn into beliefs and help structure your image of yourself. That image you create will stay with you longer than the time it takes to paint the bedroom."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Personal Fungatious Feedback definition: A style of communication characterized by disparaging comments to self (self-putdowns) and dwelling on personal weaknesses. Self-talk critical in nature, carrying the silent seeds of inflammation, often leading to stress, doubt, worry and low self-esteem."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Clearly, self-criticism and self-rejection are effective. They are effective methods to immobilize yourself."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To prevent getting infected by the epidemic of Fungatious Feedback, use corrective feedback with your family, friends, coworkers, and anybody else you encounter."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can deactivate the spread of Fungatious Feedback with one simple prescription. The antidote is to use the number one rule of corrective feedback. That rule is: Speak to the situation, not to the person."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Another way to give people healthy corrective feedback is to share your lack of appreciation."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The main function of healthy corrective feedback is to make the expected outcome clear."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

"Think of corrective feedback as corrective feed forward. Design your communication so it feeds the person forward toward correction and improvement."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you don't think you are responsible for what you see, you are missing a lot of magic that you could presently be creating in your life. 'The Abracadabra Effect.' Check it out."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Healthy corrective feedback describes what needs to be improved."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Dis-ease-free correction does not attack character or personality."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Helpful correction that is free of dis-ease-spreading agents is specific."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Criticism does little to move a person forward. If you want your feedback to promote maximal opportunity for change in the person receiving it, we suggest you perform a 'word transplant.' Remove criticism from your language patterns and replace it with corrective feedback. Criticism creates distance. Corrective feedback invites people to move forward."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"At first glance, praise and criticism appear to be opposites. A closer examination will reveal they are simply two sides of the same coin. Do you want to give someone your two cents' worth? You can deliver it with praise or with criticism."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The goal is to allow the recipient of the praise to do the rating on the inside. Use words that create room for him to draw the conclusion."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you choose words that describe the situation, you allow the person hearing the words to draw their own conclusion. You leave room for the evaluation to come from within. You don't attempt to fill them up with self-esteem. You allow them to create it from the inside out."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Did you tell your spouse she's a good listener? If you did, you gave her little information and one huge evaluation. Plus, you have positioned yourself above her as her judge. Nobody likes being judged. It is a big me/little you position that invites resentment and resistance. Tell your spouse, 'I like the way you listen to me and hear me out without interrupting. I like knowing I can express my anger without you taking it personally. I appreciate the time you give to hearing my concerns. Thank you.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What if praise does not build self-esteem? What if it just helps the receiver feel good for the moment and disappears quickly? What if it builds dependence, requiring the receiver to chase it so they can obtain another fix? It's time to take a closer look at praise and adopt ways to administer it in healthy and helpful doses."

"Start by being more descriptive and less evaluative. Instead of saying good, wonderful, or fantastic to your children describe what was good, wonderful, or fantastic about what they did."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Praise is good. Is it really? Or is that simply an assumption? 

Praise is good. 
Praise builds self-esteem. 
Praise is motivational. 
Assumptions one and all.

It's time to take a closer look at praise and adopt ways to administer it in healthy and helpful doses."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Fungatious Feedback Definition: Providing information that is primarily evaluative. Filled with judgment. Lacking specifics and void of constructive information. Failure to feed forward."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you should on others, you increase the chance they will choose the dysfunctional behavior of rigid defensiveness."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I wants' are not to be delivered in a whiny tone. Use your mature adult voice when stating them. The goal is to give honest and direct information so others will know what you are thinking and feeling. Maintain an attitude that does not convey you have to have your want fulfilled or even expect it. This prescription is a way of giving others information about you so you can begin a useful dialogue with them."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One sure way to drastically reduce getting what you want is to fail to verbalize it. If you’re the only one that knows you want a back rub, a new coffee maker, or an opportunity to address the staff at the next meeting, your odds of getting it aren't high."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'If he loved me he'd know' and 'If you don't know I'm not going to tell you' are other signs that you are engaging the myth of the glass head."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Speak up for yourself. Express your wants. Only a few of us live or work with psychics. Chances are you aren't one of them. We don't hang out with psychics, yet we often act like we do. We clutch our wants tightly, don't express them, and then upset ourselves because other people don't figure them out and do something about them. We run around expecting people to read our minds by peering through our nonexistent glass heads."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You are in charge of your mind. You are its primary programmer. Take charge of the words you put in there. Manage your own mind to manage your reality and your world."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Yes, it is simple. Change your words to change your mind. Change your mind to change your world. Simple? Yes. And effective? Also yes. Abracadabra."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It is critical, though, to fit your wants into the context of interdependence. Every dollar you invest in you is one less dollar you have available to spend on your spouse or children. Every hour you use relaxing in the hot tub is one hour not available to work on the new advertising campaign. Satisfy some of your wants. And temper them with the realization that you are connected to your family and coworkers."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Balance is important here. Yes, it's useful to invest some time and money on taking care of yourself. You deserve it. And when you are self-full, those minutes and dollars spent will touch the other important people in your life."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We see a major difference between selfishness and self-fullness. Selfishness occurs when you make choices and don't care what happens to anyone else. We do not recommend or encourage that stance. We firmly believe in self-fullness. If you are feeling full and experiencing overflow, you have more to give to your family, your colleagues, your work, and the universe. If you are not feeling full, you are operating from perceived lack. Therefore, you feel you have less to give."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stay conscious that 'need' has more dependency dis-ease attached to it than 'want' does. 'Want' carries more independence. If you want dependent employees, a dependent spouse, or dependent children, you can have that. You get to choose. Abracadabra."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do you desire employees (spouse, children, coworkers) who want or need approval? If they need approval, they will be more anxious to please. They will tell you what they think you want to hear on a regular basis. They will tiptoe around, afraid to say things you might disagree with. If your employees need approval, they will agree with you when they really disagree. They will negate their own self-interests and beliefs and go along with yours. You gain compliance and you lose an effective alternative voice in your organization. If your employees want rather than need approval, they will behave differently. They will ask for it if that is what they desire. They won’t measure their self-worth by whether you agree with them or not. They won't take disagreement personally. They won't be immobilized if they don't get approval. After all, they don't need approval. They want it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I want' communicates independence. It's a more self-sufficient expression and has no expectation attached to it. Since there is no expectation, a more active stance is usually forthcoming, making it more likely you will take steps to move toward fulfillment of that desire."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There are expectations (one of the silent messages) that accompany uttering, 'I need.' When you proclaim 'I need' something, it's as if you expect someone else to come along and fill that need for you. And since you expect someone to fix it for you, you are less likely to make an active move to see that it happens and more likely to assume a passive stance."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I need' sends out vibrations of dependency. It often has a whiny ring to it. As you increase your need for someone or something, you also increase the strength of your dependency. As your dependency grows, your sense of personal power withers."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What's the big fuss about changing 'need' to 'want?' Consider there are two main ways to describe the desires of your life: 'I need' and 'I want.' 'Need' and 'want' are the articulated words, whether you speak them aloud or silently to yourself. Pay attention to the unspoken, silent message you communicate when you use one or the other. One promotes dis-ease, the other spreads health."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To rid yourself of Needatonin push the delete button on 'need,' and replace it with the word 'want.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Needatonin definited: A whiny verbal skill that increases dependency. A way of announcing that you want to be taken care of. An effort to manipulate others."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Linguistic wellness is the key to establishing emotional, mental and physical health. Our language patterns are the building blocks of health and well-being."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To end Blameopoly, learn about and use the 'Own It' injection regularly. It will help you take responsibility for what is happening in your life. Over time, using the Own It prescription will reduce stress, enhance solution seeking, and increase your sense of personal power. If it doesn't, don't blame us. Own it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you are indeed responsible, stand up and own it without adding blame or fault to the mix."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Taking responsibility means noticing the role you played in creating a situation, learning from it, and moving on by taking corrective action."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In an emergency, blame and fault finding serve no useful function. Nor are they helpful in our daily lives."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you blame your boss, coworkers, spouse, children, parents, the government, your doctor, or anyone else for your problems, you give them your power. You leave them in control and render yourself impotent."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"There is a fine line between bragging and giving useful information. If your words are spoken in a loud or boastful manner, it's bragging. If your intent is to impress or manipulate others, it's bragging. When you deliver a verbal message focused more on giving the other person information they may find useful than on raising your stock in their eyes, it is not bragging."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Blameopoly defined: A language technique used to assign responsibility to someone or something else for the conditions that exist in one's life. An often unnoticed mind trick that allows one to think and behave unself-responsibly."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you notice the desire to be right protruding into your consciousness, nip it in the bud with one of the following sentences. You don’t have to believe them. Just say them. Do this often enough and you'll believe them in time."

'You could be right about that.' 
'I don't think so and you might be correct.' 
'Your answer is one possibility.' 
'I definitely disagree and your answer could be the correct one.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If having unhealthy relationships, both at work and at home, is what you desire, 'I told you so' will get you there fast. It's divisive and builds resentment. It invites irritation, annoyance, and emotional attacks. Is what you get from reminding the other person you were right worth the price you pay in returned resentment and damage to the relationship?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you hear yourself making any of the following comments, you could be stricken with the Rightabolic Syndrome. 

'That's impossible.' 
'You're wrong about that.' 
'No way!' 
'You're mistaken.' 
'You can't be right.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It's difficult to be right and cooperate simultaneously. It takes 'me and them' thinking to create cooperation and the resulting togetherness. With a 'me versus them' mindset, we create conflict and stress for ourselves."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Setting up our inner world so we get to be right in our outer world fosters differences rather than commonalities."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Confirmation of rightness feels good. That's why the Rightabolic Syndrome is often misdiagnosed and not always seen as producing dis-ease."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The Rightabolic Syndrome defined: The state of having to be right, which breeds comparison, evaluation, and alienation. Characterized by the generation of ill feelings, the digging in of heels, and mental and physical distancing."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One payoff people often get from prolonged Judgmentalillness is acute activation of the 'Rightabolic Syndrome.' Being right is a reward we get from judging."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Practice using self-responsible language. Practice, practice, practice. Overdose on practice."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Notice that the description is free of evaluation. It simply describes the action or, in this case, lack of action. It does not rate it or judge it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Describing the behavior of another person does not brand them as 'that way.' It simply states what their behavior was one time."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When the urge to judge someone builds inside you, replace the judgment with a description of the behavior you are witnessing."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Notice how others judge without evaluating it. Notice what it sounds like. Remind yourself that this is the style of language you are committed to eliminating in your life. Refuse to judge it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stay around healthy people. If you have been a judger, you can be sure you have attracted other judgers into your life. Judgers attract judgers."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you cannot escape physically, escape in your mind."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your judgments about other people rarely change them. Instead, they change you. They change you from a pain-free person to one who has now inflicted himself with dis-ease. Even if you keep your judgments to yourself, those judgments affect your energy and impact your relationships in a negative way."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Fear and suspicion that others are judging you is another form of dis-ease that results from Judgmentalillness. Because you judge, you tend to think others judge, too."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgments are not about the thing being judged. They are always about the person doing the judging."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Each person's mind contains different beliefs, thoughts, words, values, and experiences. And since we all filter what we hear and see through our minds, we each create a unique interpretation."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How you see your coworker is about you, your thoughts, your belief system, and the reality you choose to create."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words. 
Words structure thoughts. 
Thoughts build beliefs. 
Beliefs lead to actions. 
Abracadabra."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Another characteristic of Judgmentalillness is that it tends to make permanent. Your judgments become self-fulfilling and cement the person in place, exactly where you placed them with your thoughts."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgment categorizes. It serves to draw a mental cage around the person from which they cannot escape in your view."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgmentalillness is working full force, and not on your behalf. Your judgment prevents you from seeing clearly. You don't often notice this person's passion, fear, doubts, kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty, or other characteristics that make her the complex human being she is."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"While you cannot always control how others talk to you, you can always control how you hear how they talk to you."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Whether running a road race, working in an office, or driving down the road, judgment limits how we see people. 

That kid is lazy.
My boss is disorganized.
My coworker is a flirt.

Using selective noticing and biased interpretation, you create a distorted and narrow picture of this person in your mind. You prove to yourself that your judgment is correct."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When our judgments reveal their shortcomings, we create frustration, anxiety, disappointment, and stress for ourselves. In essence, when we judge, we sabotage our own happiness."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You are a big creation machine, and you are turning out a new manifestation literally as fast as you can think."

― Neale Donald Walsch

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Do not make the mistake of thinking just because judgment is so commonplace it's harmless."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our language patterns abound with good and bad, skinny and fat, ugly and beautiful, awful and wonderful, lazy and ambitious, boring and exciting, and stupid and intelligent. Nothing, it seems, escapes the critical, compare-and-contrast mindset bred into our culture and constantly reinforced with our choice of language."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Then you went off to school and, thankfully, the judgment finally ended. No, it didn't. Incidents of Judgmentalillness intensified. You were tested and rated on your level of mastery on a narrow skill set that had little to do with real learning."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgmentalillness Definition: A language trap that limits vision and narrows perspective. A tendency to blame, criticize, and compare that hinders perception and signals the need to be right."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Change your words and you change your thoughts. 
Change your thoughts and you change your beliefs. 
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors. 
Change your behaviors and you change your world. 
Change your world and you change our world. 
Change our world and you change the world. 
Almost like magic."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Warning: People who have previously been successful at guilt tripping you may become suddenly irrational. The change in your response to their guilt tripping may trigger episodes of inappropriate language and manipulative behavior. Ignore them or create physical distance between you and them."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Personal power and personal responsibility dwell in decision making."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Reduce the risk of not creating what you want. Speak up for yourself. Put your response-ability out there where everyone can see and hear you using it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The simplest way to eradicate Shoulditus is by replacing 'should' with 'could.' Change 'should haves' to 'could haves.'"

"I could be working on that report right now is less judgmental than I should be working on that report right now."

"I could pay more attention to the sales department is more descriptive than I should pay more attention to the sales department."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What point is there to laying blame for what 'should have' (in your mind) been done and wasn't? Where is that going to get you? Positive relationships are not built and maintained with shaming, blaming, or guilt tripping."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'Should have' and 'ought to have,' another strand of Shoulditus, are verbal expressions that indicate you are playing out the role of a Monday morning quarterback."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Most shoulds directed at others take the form of unasked-for advice. They flow from the belief, 'I know better than you do what is best for you.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shoulding on others is an advice-dispensing mechanism that basically says, 'I know better than you do.' It's an effort to weaken the other person's power while increasing your own."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You cannot control how it is said to you and you can control how you hear it. Hear shoulds and oughts as data. Train yourself to hear them as information others are sharing about their preferences."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If your words limit choice, confine your thoughts, or prevent a full view of yourself as a responsible, empowered individual, you are unconsciously injuring yourself with dis-eased language patterns."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shoulditus definition: A phrase designed to dispense guilt, shame, and blame on yourself and/or others. A method for getting after yourself so you will feel inadequate. A dis-ease that generates anxiety about what is yet to come or anger and frustration when others do not meet your expectations."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stop 'shoulding' on yourself. And on others. 
'I should mow the grass.'
'I should clean the house.' 
'You should follow through immediately.'
'I should exercise regularly.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Consciousness comes first. Becoming conscious of your language will help you recognize options in your life. Increased options means increased personal power. More options give you more power. Fewer options equal less power."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Stay conscious that your use of 'but' will limit your vision of possibilities and weaken your sense of personal power."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The use of 'but' promotes either/or thinking."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you're serious about getting off your butt and accessing more personal power in your life, it will be helpful to get off your 'but.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'But' is designed to be a connector that creates contrast between two parts of a sentence."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Awareness is the key. When you become aware that you have used 'too,' an effective antidote is to repeat the sentence without it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you speaking in a way that expands your awareness of the possibilities that exist? Or are you preserving the illusion of powerlessness by verbally disguising the decisions you make from yourself, placing the responsibility for those choices on conditions being 'too' something?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Most varieties of 'too' are not true. The temperature may by below zero. Still it is not too cold to get warmed up properly. It might take you longer to get thoroughly warmed up. And it is NOT too cold to get thoroughly warmed up."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Preventarrhea defined: The use of language to delay, omit or quit an activity without taking responsibility or ownership for the choice. A primary preventer to help you stay unconscious while procrastinating or giving up."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Write your unabling language examples on file cards. Read them through one more time. Then take them to a burn pile, light them on fire, and watch them go up in smoke. Visualize the Unableism leaving your body and rising into the air and out into the universe. Feel the freedom that accompanies releasing this dis-ease agent's grip on you."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"To eliminate outdated thinking that triggers the dynamic of Unableism it's important to stay conscious of your self-talk. When you notice unhealthy language, stop. Immediately reconstruct your words and your thoughts."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'Can't,' 'difficult,' 'never,' 'always,' and 'I am' followed by a negative attribute are verbally transmitting Unableism into your being and may be preventing you from experiencing a life full of choice, rich with healthful benefits and exciting possibilities."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Use 'always' and 'never' for your own advantage. Use them in ways that serve you. Lay a foundation for your belief system to grow in a healthy, nonrestrictive way."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It isn't easy."

"It isn't easy to pass up chocolate cake. Now why would anyone want to believe that? If you believe it won’t be easy, then it won’t be easy for you."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"This could be tough."

"Yes, it could be tough. It could also be easy, fun, exciting, challenging, simple, stimulating, entertaining, thrilling, boring, dull, or exhilarating. You get to have it your way. Just stay conscious that you are indeed the creator of this reality."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"One big illusion many of us organize our lives around is that events and people can 'make us' a whole bunch of things (sad, jealous, thrilled, depressed, and on ad infinitum). It's not true, of course. No one can 'make us' anything."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I probably won't interview well."

"Not if you talk and think like that you won't. Why predict failure? Why use language that fosters negative anticipation? Plant seeds of success with, 'I'll knock this interview out of the park.'"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I am . . ."

"Two of the most important words in the English language are 'I am,' along with the words that follow them. These words firmly cement erroneous beliefs in our consciousness. They invite us to identify with the condition that follows them."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How do you use 'always' and 'never'? Do you use them to close down options or to increase the range of possibilities in your life?"

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I'd like to be able to' is as harmful as 'I can't' in its purest form."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Judgments are not about the thing being judged. They are always about the person doing the judging."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Use of 'should' and 'ought to' puts your focus on the difference between what exists now and what you feel 'should' exist. It's a way to verbally apply negative pressure to yourself."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I can't' language absolves us of ownership of our attitudes or actions. By using it, we sabotage and weaken our perceived level of personal power."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words are tools that can be used to create or destroy, to build or tear down, to uplift or push down, to create ease or dis-ease."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You are the writer, the director, and the computer programmer for your own mind, and words are your primary programming tool."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Unableism defined: The repetitious use of language that creates unnecessary boundaries that leave you feeling inadequate and incapable. A method for programming your mind with doubt and beliefs about yourself as being not enough. A method for effectively shutting off your personal power."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"No one will be able to make people feel guilty, jealous, or frustrated. Individuals may choose some of those feelings, but they will be aware they are doing it to themselves. Incidents of anxiety, depression, and fear will be greatly reduced."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When generations of children have been raised to talk and think correctly, in sync with reality, this dis-ease will be no more."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Vacation relaxes me."
"My two kids are driving me up a wall."
"My children's teachers make me happy."
"My teenager fell in with the wrong crowd." 
"My husband's request for a divorce infuriates me."
"Now, he’s not sure. He keeps me hanging on."
"Late child support checks make me furious."
"I got carried away with the credit cards."
"Dating again makes me nervous."
"Being a grandma makes me feel old."
"Where did my life go? Time just got away from me." 
"The thought of dying scares me."
"The devil made me do it."

"These idioms are conversational habits. They are conversational habits that are destructive to our emotional and mental health. They are conversational habits that can be replaced with self-empowering ones that leave us in a state of health and linguistic wellness."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“What if no one believed that another person could make them mad? What if no one talked that way? What would that world look like?”

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Bet that made you mad."

"No, I chose to be empathetic. Anger didn't seem like a healthy choice at that point."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Healthy language could sound awkward at first. Many of us are not used to hearing people talk self-responsibly or talking that way ourselves. Practice. Practice. And practice some more."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Self-responsible language is indeed a foreign language to most of us."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our words and language patterns are the main building blocks we use to manage our minds."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If changing the event is not possible, work to change your mind with calming thoughts, images, and beliefs."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"How others talk to us is their choice, not ours. But one thing that is always in our power to control is what we say to ourselves about what they say to us."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The words we use structure and give meaning to our thoughts."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The 'Makes Me' Psychosis on an emotional level, manifests as anger, fear, sadness, boredom, depression, worry, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and frustration can result."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The 'Makes Me' Psychosis on a physical level manifests as anxiety, headaches, shallow breathing, high blood pressure, nervousness, and more."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I can only do frustration to myself. I create my own frustration by the thoughts I choose to think and by how I choose to interpret it. So do you. The same goes for all of us."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I've heard it said that the greatest transportation system in the world is your train of thought. I endorse that concept. The place where you find yourself in your life right now is a direct result of the thoughts you have amassed up to this point. That collection of thought has brought you to this destination. Likewise, the thoughts you are currently thinking are leading you in a direction that leads to a future destination. Do you like where your present thought is leading? If not, change trains."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The way we talk about events, people, and situations need to be overhauled to allow room for truth and the resulting wellness to surface."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"As much as you would like to, you cannot make other people better. The state of their health is a condition they will have to choose for themselves."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The words you speak become the house you live in."

― Hafiz

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The word as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

― Albert Einstein

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you describe your feelings without the dis-eased 'makes me' language, you are choosing healthy language that keeps you clear of this incapacitating illness. Your improving health benefits will include more personal power, more control, and more well-being for yourself and those around you."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shoulding on yourself sabotages your peaceful present moments, replacing them with frustration and guilt."

"A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind."

― Elly Roselle

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You get to be angry, annoyed, or have any feeling you think serves you in this moment. Just OWN it. Know that it is you, through your interpretive mind, that is creating the feeling in you, not some outside event, situation, or person."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If I believe what you do influences my response, then I am more focused on your behavior than on my own. I look outward, at you, for relief, wishing you would change so I can stop being nervous."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The 'Makes Me' Psychosis defined: The repetitious use of 'makes me' and 'made me' that leaves you out of control and believing others are responsible for your attitudes and actions. A disowning of responsibility. A method for going unconscious and blaming others for your personal reactions to events and circumstances."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Your words and language patterns behave like hypnotic forces and make an impression on your subconscious mind."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words make minds. And it is the mind more than anything else that determines our mental and emotional health and the quality of our living."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you notice a symptom (boredom, annoyance, anxiety, depression, joy, excitement, arousal, etc.), look inward for explanations and meaning. That is where health is created. That is where your power is. That is the key to your recovery and wellness."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"'I can't' language eventually leads to beliefs and behaviors which distance us from taking responsibility."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Most of our 'I can'ts' are not true. When we use this limiting phrase, we dwell under the illusion that we are not responsible for the decisions we make."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments."

― Thich Nhat Hanh

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our language patterns create mental constructs out of which we come to view the world. They form, alter, and define how we perceive reality."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Feel the feeling and know you are creating it. You don't have to change it if you choose not to. There is nothing wrong with feeling anger, frustration, anxiety, or any other emotion. It’s OK to simply feel the feeling and move through it."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others; it is your own mind.

― Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Language is more than a medium of communication. It is also a medium of perception."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our language patterns, our repetitious thought and the resulting beliefs we come to hold, create the reality we produce in our lives."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"In The Abracadabra Effect we describe the infectious nature of 13 invisible maladies and detail ways to prevent and/or cure them."

― Thomas Haller

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our mental and emotional diets determine our overall energy levels, health, and well-being to a far greater extent than most people realize. Every thought and feeling, no matter how big or small, impacts our inner energy reserves."

― Doc Childre

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

It makes no sense to suffer in advance a misfortune that may never occur.

― Isabel Allende

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"If you correct your mind, the rest of life will fall into place."

― Lao-tzu

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your thoughts become the experiences you live. Releasing old thought patterns clears the way for new patterns of living.

― Iyanla Vanzant

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

Proverbs 23:7 (King James Version)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The Sky is not the limit . . . The mind is."

www.heartmath.org

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it."

― Roald Dahl

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.

Do you understand?"

― Captain Jack Sparrow

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Put an end to any negative habits or patterns in your family’s history. Be the one who rises up and changes things!"

@sandikrakowski

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"What’s on your mind becomes what’s in your life. So think the thoughts you want to see."

― Karen Salmansohn

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You have the brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…"

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll go!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you but it is not others. It is your own mind."

― Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A man's mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind."

― James Allen

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it.

Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics."

― Darryl Anka

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex."

― Norman Vincent Peale

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The words you speak become the house you live in."

― Hafiz

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

― Seneca

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The first place we lose the battle is in our own thinking. If you think it’s permanent then it’s permanent. If you think you’ve reached your limits then you have. If you think you’ll never get well then you won’t. You have to change your thinking. You need to see everything that’s holding you back, every obstacle, every limitation as only temporary.

Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are; it solely relies on what you think."

― Buddha

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Keep reminding yourself: I get what I think about, whether I want it or not."

― Dr. Wayne Dyer

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation."

― Florence Scovel Shinn

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Create a mental delete button and practice deleting negative thoughts. When a self-defeating thought pops into your head, actually visualize the delete button and take your finger and press it firmly! Then replace that ‘holding you back’ thought with a more positive, encouraging and hopeful one. Repeat as necessary."

― Paul S. Boynton

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be."

― Dr. Wayne Dyer

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Brush off unwelcome thoughts that attempt to invade your mind. You control whether they become temporary visitors or permanent residents."

― C. Leslie Charles

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Help me to disagree without blame, to share without criticism, and to debate without demonizing anyone."

― Marianne Williamson

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Words cast spells that's why it's called SPELLING. Words are energy. Use them wisely."

@desireaspireinspire

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts."

― Napoleon Hill

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness."

― Eckhart Tolle

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You can’t hate yourself happy. You can’t criticize yourself thin. You can’t shame yourself wealthy. Real change begins with self love and self care."

― Jessica Ortiner

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Resist impulses to label yourself with descriptions that limit you in any way. Statements such as, 'I’m not good at,' or 'I’ve never been interested in…' only serve to strengthen your self-image of limitations. You can be good at and enjoy anything if you decide to."

― Dr. Wayne Dyer

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

"A man can change his conditions by changing his words. Any man who does not know the power of the word, is behind the times."

― Florence Scovel Shinn